25 and Single

by Holly on August 25, 2010

in breakfast,dinner,lunch,meet-up,seriousness

When meeting new people, I’ve discovered us human beings are most interested in two things: age and relationship status.

In my experience, conversations tend to go something like this…

“So, are you seeing anyone special?”

“No, but I’m seeing a whole lot of unspecial people.” (stole that line from Miranda, FYI)

(insert nervous laughter)

“Haha, really? Well, how old are you?”


“Oh dear…at your age, I was already married with two kids!”

Usually, I laugh it off and quickly change the subject. However, what I would really like to tell inquiring minds when faced with this dreadful predicament is that – shockingly! – I also have a personality. Like, besides being a quarter of a century old and having no man to fill my gas tank (literally and metaphorically-speaking), I like to laugh. I also like to write. I think I am pretty independent and capable. I can be stubborn but also very laid-back. My favorite hobby is reading, although I don’t get to do it as much as I would like. And I get no greater joy in life than making people laugh and traveling.

Apparently, none of that matters when you are single and 25 years old.

This antiquated notion makes me want to grab a bottle of vodka and go to Drinkytown. That is saying a lot, because since college, I’ve sworn off hard alcohol. The mere whiff of distilled spirits makes me think back to the time I fell in a thorny bush stumbling home from the bars and my roommate’s boyfriend had to peel me out limb-by-limb.

Because the only thing worse than being 25 and single is being 21, single and drunkenly stuck in a bush at 2am.

Yes, there are times where it would be nice to have a boyfriend, like for instance in the situation above or perhaps to share a warm bowl of banana oatmeal with…

1 packet Kashi Vanilla instant oatmeal + 1/4 cup oats
water + 1 egg (whisked in)
1 mashed banana
sprinkle of shredded coconut
dollop of cranberry vanilla PB

Someday, I will find a guy who enjoys eating oatmeal, drinking coffee and tag-teaming the NY Times Crossword on a lazy Sunday morning.

Key word: someday.

Because a gal can’t force these things.

When it’s supposed to happen, it will.

Until then, there is no point in dating douchelord boys who are more into talking about themselves and touting their own accomplishments than learning about you. Forget the guys who are still hung-up on that ex-girlfriend, because no matter how fabulous you are, he’s not going to see it. If a guy is a bad kisser, move on (and I mean, wayyyyy on). Trust your gut feeling when its telling you things aren’t right, and never regret that decision.

Of course, all of these situations are clearly and merely hypothetical and in no way are based off my own personal experiences of guys I have dated in the past or anything…

Rely on friends.

Like Madeline. If you get the chance, be friends with her.

Because she will selflessly send you wheatberries + Chocolate Chip Peanut Butter Oatmeal Cookies, which are guaranteed to cure any relationship blues you may have.

One taste of these, and you’ll wish cookie marriage was legal in the U.S.

First, let’s work on the gay marriage thang then we can move onto cookies.

Rejoice in the fact you don’t have to wash poop-stained underwear, repeatedly put the toilet seat down or watch endless hours of ESPN (or ESPN2, ESPN Classic…).

What you can do? Eat 1.44 pounds of delicious vegetarian food with wild, single-girl abandon…

vegan baked beans
curried cauliflower
Greek salad
vegan pasta primavera
spicy green beans
sesame sticks
tofu garden salad (hidden)

Add in a bottle of cherry kombucha.

And gal pals, of course.

Like Kristie.

And Leanne.

And me.

I can be my own gal pal, right?

Because who needs men when you have more important things to attend to – like a Whole Foods hot bar, foodie talk and one blogger in desperate need of her first taste of kombucha?

Not I.

I firmly believe my own Pea DaddyKyleDanno the MannoMarshall or Meeker is out there. Ideally, he would come find me bearing ice cream, raspberry Toaster Strudels and beer, but I won’t get picky.

Until then, I plan on traveling.

Because who knows? Mr. Argentinean love affair may just turn out to be Mr. Right.

And really, who cares about my personality then?

I’ll be 25, taken and living in Buenos Aires!


Hilary @ Purelicious August 26, 2010 at 5:12 pm

Amen, sista ;)
23 and single

Heather August 26, 2010 at 7:27 pm

GIRL TELL ME ABOUT IT. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of nearly 4 years (great dude, still friends, just in different stages of our lives) and my grandmother likes to remind me that now I am going to be putting off getting marriaged and making babies EVEN LONGER. FOR SHAME!!! She pulled the whole “oh, funny, your cousin [who is far superior to you in every.single.way] was around your age when she started having kids.”

Look, I like the idea of having an awesome partner to come home to and chill out with. I would love someone to give me a foot massage while we watch bad movies and even worse TV. I would also maybe, at some point in my life, enjoy being a mother. But why is 25 like the cut off to do all of those things? Let me enjoy being a young woman, dang.

P.S. I <3 you & allowing me to rant.

BroccoliHut August 26, 2010 at 8:01 pm

Ugh, I’ve always hated that question too. It comes up WAY often in the South where girls are “supposed” to be engaged by the time they graduate college. It reminds me of this one Michael Buble song that really irks me called “You’re Nobody Til Somebody Loves You.” What a crappy song.
OK rant over.

Heather Eats Almond Butter August 26, 2010 at 9:03 pm

OK, I’m married, and my husband refuses to share oatmeal with me (refers to it as a neolithic agent of disease), nor will he go to the Whole Foods hot bar with me…something about all those different people touching the serving spoons, etc. This is why we all need lots and lots of good girlfriends!!!! Don’t know what I’d do without my girls. Love my husband, but I NEED my girls!

Also need to more about this cranberry vanilla PB! :)

Tyler August 27, 2010 at 6:55 am

When I was happily single in college and people would ask me if I had a boyfriend, their response would be something along the lines of “but, you’re sooo pretty! you should totally have a boyfriend!” As if obviously, I should really want a boyfriend and that my looks should automatically get me one. Even in college
(aka the time when people are falling in to bushes and looking to get random booty over being in a committed relationship), explaining that I really liked my singlehood was confusing to people.

Now that I have a boyfriend, people push me to tell them how serious it is, which makes me really uncomfortable. Two people last week asked me if me and my boy are going to get married. My response: “I’m only 22!!”

And you are only 25. People need to chill out. Being single is fun!

Amanda August 27, 2010 at 3:51 pm

looooved reading this today. 25 and single, too. i’ve been going through the exact same stuff. it kinda sucks, but then i tell myself it’ll happen when it happens and keep on living my confident life!

Maura August 30, 2010 at 1:56 pm

This is fabulous. Just like you. Not only do I get pressure from other people, I also put pressure on myself! Not sure why I do this but it happens. I’ve been single now for 1.5 years and I am getting tired of it. Settling is just not an option. My fav quote is from Sugarland & it goes a little something like this: “I ain’t settlin’ just gettin’ by/I’ve had enough so so for the rest of my life/ Tired of shootin’ too low so raise the bar high./ So, I’m just not waiting up this time/I ain’t settlin’ for anything less than everything.”

AMEN sisttaaa

Brooke August 30, 2010 at 7:07 pm

My friend’s mom is so beautiful, so funny, so smart, so successful (coughjustlikeyoucough) and waited to find “Mr. Right” and got married at 39. She had kids at 40, both of them are fab, her and her husband are now 62, and still completely head over heels for each other. AND.. she somehow still looks 40. I am not saying you are going to get married at 39, but chu get my point. Patience is a virtue and rocking your 20s is what you supposed to do. WIT FRIENDS, CHEESE CURDS, AND BURR.



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