The Healthy Everythingtarian

Secretly, I wish I was the kind of person who writes recipes.

Instead, I am the kind of person who’s really good at cooking recipes other people write. Unfortunately, I have never possessed that certain je ne sais quoi it takes to be able to concoct and write recipes that ultimately result in the creation of beautiful dishes crafted from seemingly unrelated ingredients.

It’s just one of those things you have or you don’t.

I have the ability to throw together a junk salad with all the remnants left from the produce drawer…

baby spinach
grated carrot
farmer’s market cherry tomatoes
broccoli
cauliflower
pumpkin + sunflower seeds
drizzle honey French dressing

…and drink beer.

But I consider neither of those “recipes.”

However, I can magically stack two pans and a flour canister to form a faux panini press since Mama + Daddy Everythingtarian (or I) do not own one…

I may not be able to whip up recipes like the best of ‘em, but - damn it! - I can make a MacGyver-style panini press when need be! Because when you have a stellar recipe like Cuban Sandwiches, courtesy of my main Food Network man Alton Brown, what you really need is a good panini press.

What’s the point in creating yet another Cuban sandwich when the recipe has already been perfected by the food scientist of my dreams anyways?

Layers of yellow mustard, ham, roasted pork, provolone cheese + pickles on a pressed French roll…no need for change. Only a need to devour. Preferably with beer. Just sayin’.

Corn on the cob.

For the love and financial prosperity of Iowa’s farmers, please don’t change that recipe.

Just grill it in the husk, roll it in buttah and sprinkle with salt…

It’s perfection.

One thing I wish I could perfect? THE PANCAKE.

I’ve tried everything from Whole Wheat Yogurt Pancakes to Peanut Butter Banana Chocolate Chip Pancakes to On-the-Fly Protein Pancakes to Oaty Cakes, and although each has been delicious in its own way, I have yet to find my personal perfect pancake.

Last week, Mama E clipped this version out from Health Magazine…

…and“gently suggested” I make them this morning.

No changes allowed.

Demanding, demanding, I tell you!

Minus the maple yogurt and with the addition of strawberries, these were delicious.

Most likely because I followed the recipe.

I really wish I could create recipes like Lemon Pepper Chicken with Artichoke Salsa and have them turn out this beautifully and this deliciously.

But alas, I chalk this gorgeous mix of organic baby spinach, sauteed asparagus, grilled lemon pepper chicken, artichoke salsa and feta cheese to another’s genius.

It was fresh, flavorful and light.

In other words, the perfect antidote to these…

Nutella Hazelnut Brownies (!!!)

No words. I can’t even describe how perfectly chocolatey and hazelnutty these are. As hard as it is to believe, they aren’t overly sweet either.

Let’s just say 1/4 of the pan is gone, and I am the only one in the kitchen…

Sometimes as a food blogger, I feel I should be continually making up my own unique, innovative recipes.

Instead, I am just going stick with what I know.

I know eating, and I know writing.

That’s not to say I will never feature more Healthy Everythingtarian recipes again. Every once in awhile, even a squirrel like me finds a nut in the form of a delicious, original recipe.

Until then, enjoy these: the best recipes you’re not making.

They’re not mine.

And I am totally okay with that.

I’m giving y’all one more day left to enter my Kroeger Herbs giveaway – hop to it peeps!

You guys are cool.

Like, way cool.

I mean, just go and read all the comments from my last post. I promise if you do, you’ll realize the only thing that defines who you are is YOU – not your relationship status, age, job, how much money you have or any of those trivial, unimportant details. That’s cool, if you ask me. Because let’s be real – single or not – we all need that reminder sometimes.

For all your lovely comment, I’d like to share me treasure with ya…

PIRATE’S BOOTY!!!

The lovely people over at Pirate Brands offered to send me free samples of this crunchy, puffed snack to review for the blog and accomplished their mission with style and panache.

Seriously, how cute is this?

Anyways, I love a good snack just as much as the next gal. So, when I opened my treasure chest of foodie love to find these six unique flavors, needless to say aye knew I’d be hooked.

• Sour Cream & Onion
• Aged White Cheddar
• New York Pizza
• Veggie
• Barbeque
• Sea Salt & Vinegar

These bootylicious bags (all-natural, gluten-free and NO trans fats) are a great grab + go snack option or yummy addition to a good ol’ brown bag lunch. At roughly 130 calories, they aren’t going to fill your belly up but sure make for some fun eating.

After spending my week taste testing the waters, I can officially reveal to you my Pirate’s Booty flavor ranking, starting with my #1 favorite…

My name is Holly; I live in Wisconsin; and I love cheese.

The aged cheddar flavor, which actually uses real Wisconsin cheese, was hands down my fave. It had the perfect hint of cheesiness to go with the light crunch of this puffed rice snack.

Here’s how the rest of ‘em stacked up…

1. Aged White Cheddar
2. Barbeque
3. Sour Cream & Onion
4. New York Pizza
5. Veggie
6. Sea Salt & Vinegar

Sadly, my least favorite was the flavor I made Brett taste test with me for the blog…

The smile was pre-taste, FYI.

For some reason, the Sea Salt & Vinegar lacked a lot of flavor. The salt wasn’t strong enough and neither was the vinegar. In Brett’s words, “It kinda tastes like cardboard.”

I agreed.

I am making it up to him by cooking Caramelized Onion & Heirloom Tomato Flatbread on Monday. I think that should take care of any lingering residual cardboard flavor.

Tonight, I finally whipped up something I’ve been meaning to make all week: Red Curry in a Hurry.

So easy, you’ll scoff at the fact I’m even touting this as a recipe.

• 1 T canola oil
• 1 T minced garlic
• 1 medium zucchini, sliced
• 1 medium yellow zucchini, sliced
• 1 (8-oz.) package tempeh, crumbled
• 1 (14-oz.) can coconut milk
• 2 T red curry paste
• 1 small packet NuNaturals Stevia
• soy sauce
• ground ginger
• salt + pepper, to taste

Saute the zucchini in canola oil + garlic over medium heat. Add the tempeh, coconut milk, red curry paste, stevia, a couple shakes of soy sauce + ground ginger and salt + pepper, to taste. Mix well.

Go to Target and buy this awesome rice packet from Archer Farms…

Heat it in the microwave for a minute.

Pile rice high in a bowl, add your red curry mix, make a POM + sparkling water mocktail and devour…

When your finished, you should probably eat two of Madeline’s cookies.

You know, to settle your stomach.

Then, you should probably do your 4-day old dishes, clean your apartment, pack a suitcase, write a recommendation letter and squeeze in a workout before you pick up and leave for the weekend.

Where to, you ask?

I’ll give you three clues: Gandhi Mahal, Haute Dish & the home of Wire-Haired Griffons.

You’re cool…you figure it out.

Despite being utterly exhausted after getting home from the Everythingtarian Family Road Trip 2010 and ready to get my life in order, I went out last night.

Because when the annual Madison Gay Pride Festival is before me, I can’t not take a moment to wear my new flower headband, support equality and hang out with my fave LGBTers. It’s also a good reason to perhaps swig down a raspberry lemonade with basil-infused vodka or two…

For the record, this blog is a place of acceptance – in ALL respects. I absolutely cannot stand seeing hate and negativity spread in the world. This includes seeing my fellow food bloggers receive rude, mean comments, which I am hearing more and more of lately. I’m not okay with it. These are my personal beliefs, and if you think differently, that’s totally fine. Let’s just be adults about it, mmmkay?

Moving on...

After a combination of too many Blizzards, burgers and basil-infused vodkas, my system has been in dire need of roughage.

2 cups mixed greens
1 grated carrot
1/2 sliced cucumber
1/4 cup diced heirloom tomatoes
Garden Herb Sunshine Burger
sprinkle of nooch
drizzle of Lemon Basil Pesto Vinaigrette

This was EXACTLY what the doctor ordered.

The best part? The vinaigrette!

I found this gem at the farmer’s market this weekend, which is locally-made about 1/2 an hour outside Madison. The star ingredient is for sure the lemon basil.

Yes, LEMON BASIL.

Awesomeness.

I am so obsessed with this vinaigrette, I am putting it in everything…

…EXCEPT my POM seltzer mocktails.

Hehe.

I did take the vinaigrette along with my 4-Ingredient Pizza Dough recipe and come up with something so fantastically delicious, you’ll probably need to make it tomorrow.

Caramelized Onion + Heirloom Tomato Flatbread…yeah, I don’t mess around.

Make 4-Ingredient Pizza Dough, slather it in EVOO +  fresh garlic and parbake it in a 375 degree oven for about ten minutes. While it’s baking, saute 1 sliced onion in 1 T of olive oil. Stir occasionally, letting it brown and caramelize. Cut heirloom tomatoes into thin slices. When the crust is parbaked, spread a thin layer of Lemon Basil Pesto Vinaigrette (1-2 T), layer your caramelized onions + tomatoes and finish off with a sprinkle of dried (or fresh) basil + salt. Bake another 10 to 20 minutes until lightly browned.

Then, devour.

You won’t regret it.

You also won’t regret making Oaty Cakes.

I love Oaty Cakes.

I seriously cannot believe the last time I made Polly’s recipe was last Christmas. For your Oaty Cake reference, I’ve eaten Banana Oaty Cakes here, Sweet Potato Apple Cider Oaty Cakes here, Maple Banana Oaty Cakes here, Classic Oaty Cakes here, more Classic Oaty Cakes here, Oaty Cakes with raw almond butter here, AB+J Oaty Cakes here,and my very first Oaty Cake experience is here.

I also love snackplates.

The spread: carrots + vanilla cranberry PB, dried apricots, Veggie Pirate’s Booty, two organic red pluots and another POM seltzer mocktail on the side.

Seriously, how gorgeous?

Other than that, I got zilch done on my to-do list today because I was too busy enjoying the glorious summer weather (and shopping, oops!). In other words, I need to get down to business tonight. Before I leave, I will say that yesterday I ran 4 miles and ran SEVEN miles today. I believe that’s the farthest I’ve run since the Madison 1/2 Maration in May, thankyouverymuch.

What are some ways YOU deal with negativity? Like Mama Everythingtarian says, I try to kill ‘em with kindness!

Is there a specific recipe you’re obsessed with? If so, please link to it in the comments!

I have the most genius secret.

Wanna know what it is?

(nods)

Is that a yes?

Good, because I can’t not share this. I mean, it’s the most simple, brilliant recipe I’ve ever come across.

And delicious!

Did I mention delicious?

Because it is.

Take 3 cups of flour (I used spelt), one tablespoon of baking powder and a generous pinch of salt.

Sift.

Then, take a bottle of your favorite yeasty brew and add it in…pour by pour…

After some gentle folding, it will look a lil’ something like this…

DOUGH!!!

Knead several times on a generously floured surface.

Roll out with a a rolling pin (or can of black beans, in my case).

Top with EVOO + fresh garlic.

Par bake for 10 minutes at 375 degrees.

Add a Pomi crushed + strained tomato base (spiced with 1/2 T Italian seasoning + salt), zucchini, fresh basil, spinach + white cheddar cheese. Bake for an additional 10 to 15 minutes, or until golden brown.

Start singing the “50 States” song in honor of your U.S.-shaped pizza.

“Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Connecticut and Delaware…”

Take a luxurious moment to admire your spelt flour crust…

…thank my friend Steph for this GENIUS recipe…

…and finally, host a ladies night to enjoy said pizza!

Let’s be real, ladies’ night is all about the food.

Start with some edamame drizzled with low sodium soy sauce…

…continue the fun with a low cal veggie soup…

…and end with pizza.

Always pizza.

Don’t forget el vino, because that would quite frankly be a terrible tragedy.

If you have a wine oxiginator on hand, it would make things taste even tastier.

Taste even tastier?

Don’t judge me…I am two glasses down writing this post.

Teen Mom premiere on MTV anyone?

Yes, Teen Mom. After all, it IS ladies’ night.

Don’t forget to enter my Oikos Chocolate Indulgence giveaway!

It’s not quite a bird…

…and it’s not quite a plane…

…no, it’s BBQ Veggie Pizza!

But what’s that I spy?

That orangey-yellowy thing. Ya know, the circle? Right there in the middle. That goopy-looking thing. I mean, I think I know what it is, but could it really be?

By George, it is!

A fried egg.

On top of my pizza.

Don’t mess.

BBQ Veggie Pizza with Fried Egg

• 1 FlatOut Multigrain Wrap
• 2 T BBQ sauce
• 6 cherry tomatoes, halved
• 1 small handful spinach
• 1 oz. sliced white cheddar cheese
• glug of olive oil
• 1 egg
• pinch of salt
• pinch of garlic powder

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.

On a baking sheet, place the wrap and spread the BBQ sauce evenly over it. Add the cherry tomato halves, spinach and cheese. Put in the oven and bake until lightly browned, about 5 to 6 minutes. Take the pizza out of the oven. Switch the setting to broiler, and place the pizza under the broiler set on low.

Meanwhile, in a medium skillet, heat a glug of olive oil over medium heat. Crack the egg and add to the pan. Let fry until the edges are golden brown.

Take your pizza, slide on your egg, sprinkle with salt + garlic powder and devour.

Serves 1

But that’s not it.

No siree.

Look what else I spied today…

That’s my local co-op. Ya know, the one I did three different VLOGs in?

I spy a lil’ Healthy Everythingtarian up in this newsletter…

Berry Oatmeal Scones.

Good choice Willy Street, good choice.

And my Mexican Black Bean Burgers?

You’re far too good to me.

Also, it’s updated…it’s on this blog…and it’s also known as the About Me, Favorite Things and Recipes sections. Check it out.

Now, I spy a 5’7, Medusa-haired female slugging down iced mint green tea at a local coffee shop in a desperate attempt to escape her 86 degree apartment and enjoy a sliver of air conditioning of which she is too poor to purchase on her own. She’s obsessively checking her iPhone, people watching and hoping someone will talk to her on GChat so she can procrastinate doing the work she doesn’t have time to procrastinate doing.

How’s that for a sighting?