The Healthy Everythingtarian

1

actual picture of myself taken this weekend while kickin’ it at the Everythingtarian abode

15

days until Sissy Everythingtarian #3 leaves us to head into the great big world of college in Colorado

2

meals that involved meat this weekend, including this wrap (turkey/spinach/pepper/cucumber/Laughing Cow French Onion + yellow mustard) alongside cottage cheese + tortilla chips

a buttload

the amount of watermelon I ate after consuming the above photographed lunch

3

the number of ingredients in the BEST potato dish ever: local red potatoes, 1 packet Lipton’s French Onion soup mix + 3 T canola oil

189

the rough guesstimate for how many roasted sunflower + pumpkin seeds were tossed over the most glorious salmon salad (mixed greens, spinach, cucumber, tomato, carrot, bell pepper, grilled salmon, seeds + balsamic vinaigrette)

5

mondo bites needed to devour this homemade mixed berry short cake (recipe to come)

2

food babies birthed after eating this 3-course dinner

270

minutes spent lounging in front of the cable-able TV this weekend – including a major Say Yes to the Dress marathon as well as two good movies, Sherlock Holmes (Robert Downey Jr…swoon) + Leap Year

17

the number of minutes I spent lazily laying on the couch until I finally decided to get my arse up and make an Everythingtarian-approved breakfast for the fam this morning

4

different pancake varieties for my peeps to choose from – blueberry, strawberry, banana chocolate chip and plain (all based off of this recipe)

16

the number of miles covered by Mama Everythingtarian + I over the course of this weekend – 9 of them running and 7 of them walking (not all at once, I assure you)

3

crosswords attempted by yours truly – two of them I did not finish (in my defense, they were the NY Times) and one I did finish (that one being the crossword in People magazine…no shame)

1

delicious-looking Sweet Potato Muffin to devour on the ride back to Madison

255

the number of minutes I spent driving in a car this weekend

6

times I listened to Gypsies, Tramps + Thieves by Cher on repeat while driving and singing at the top of my lungs (for the record, I do a pretty killer Cher impression)

1

vegan meal enjoyed by yours truly this weekend, courtesy of Terry Walter’s CLEAN FOOD cookbook, in the form of Millet Black Bean Patties with Corn

0

the number of times I successfully flipped these patties (which explains the crumbly, yet still amazingly delicious, mess you see in the above picture)

$45.70

the amount I spent on a pair of black capri leggings, adorably cute steel blue shorts + a chambray button down tunic this weekend

an infinitely, gigantically and astronomically huge amount

how much I love my family

I have the most genius secret.

Wanna know what it is?

(nods)

Is that a yes?

Good, because I can’t not share this. I mean, it’s the most simple, brilliant recipe I’ve ever come across.

And delicious!

Did I mention delicious?

Because it is.

Take 3 cups of flour (I used spelt), one tablespoon of baking powder and a generous pinch of salt.

Sift.

Then, take a bottle of your favorite yeasty brew and add it in…pour by pour…

After some gentle folding, it will look a lil’ something like this…

DOUGH!!!

Knead several times on a generously floured surface.

Roll out with a a rolling pin (or can of black beans, in my case).

Top with EVOO + fresh garlic.

Par bake for 10 minutes at 375 degrees.

Add a Pomi crushed + strained tomato base (spiced with 1/2 T Italian seasoning + salt), zucchini, fresh basil, spinach + white cheddar cheese. Bake for an additional 10 to 15 minutes, or until golden brown.

Start singing the “50 States” song in honor of your U.S.-shaped pizza.

“Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Connecticut and Delaware…”

Take a luxurious moment to admire your spelt flour crust…

…thank my friend Steph for this GENIUS recipe…

…and finally, host a ladies night to enjoy said pizza!

Let’s be real, ladies’ night is all about the food.

Start with some edamame drizzled with low sodium soy sauce…

…continue the fun with a low cal veggie soup…

…and end with pizza.

Always pizza.

Don’t forget el vino, because that would quite frankly be a terrible tragedy.

If you have a wine oxiginator on hand, it would make things taste even tastier.

Taste even tastier?

Don’t judge me…I am two glasses down writing this post.

Teen Mom premiere on MTV anyone?

Yes, Teen Mom. After all, it IS ladies’ night.

Don’t forget to enter my Oikos Chocolate Indulgence giveaway!

What up homies?!?!

Get ready for some tried and true white girl wannabe rap speak, because yours truly has indeed been ridin’ solo this weekend. That means I spent a lot of quality time with myself and did not socialize with real human beings for a solid 36 hours.

You’ve been warned.

After a month’s worth of crazy biznass, my stress levels were definitely more than elevated this past week. Luckily, this weekend (and next weekend!) are completely devoid of plans and the perfect time to do some major catch-up on R&R – reflecting on and rejoicing life. Obvs.

I threw in a pedicure and a trip to Target for help in achieving the reflecting (pedicures provide a solid 40 minutes to be grateful there are people in the world willing to beautify your horrendous feet) and the rejoicing (1/2 gallon of organic milk on sale for under $3!).

Because when my life be stressin’ me, my remedy is bringing back sweet memories…

Like cooking.

I am sure Talib would agree it is the epitome of bringing back said memories.

In the midst of an intense 3 1/2-hour long apartment cleaning spree on Saturday morning, which involved paper towls, Windex cleaner, Lysol disinfecting wipes and one crazy biatch determined to leave no spiderweb or crumb uncleaned, I found a box of tabbouli hiding in the back of my pantry.

Add boiling water, chickpeas, tomatoes, red onion, a couple shakes of all-purpose seasoning + a drizzle of olive oil, and you have yourself this delight…

Fresh, flavorful and no ovens were turned on in the process.

Because y’all had some stellar ideas for using up my stash of Pomi tomatoes, I wound up with a a serious craving for gazpacho. Luckily, with the help of my homegirl Terry Walters, I found the perfect recipe in my Clean Food cookbook…

Two boxes of tomatoes down, 46 more to go…

This was the cool, refreshing and delicious result…

Because I told you all “Pair it with a carb!” is my new mantra, I enjoyed a side of Fritos along with this bowl of antioxidant goodness.

I believe my boo Nelly said it best: it’s gettin’ hot in herre.

Yes, 88 degrees…in my apartment.

No good.

No good at all.

I tucked my tummy tight and did my crunches like that doing 60 minutes of an elliptical + running hybrid at the gym then grabbed my lightest sundress, camera and headed out into the great wide world of Madison, Wisconsin…

Clearly, there had to be a reward at the end of the 4-mile walking sojourn.

Yes, Key Lime Pie froyo.

Topped with raspberries, coconut and flax granola…

Yes, yes and yes.

The fun didn’t stop there.

I clearly ain’t no golddigger. I read magazines at drug stores because I am too cheap to buy them.

Apparently, I’m not too much of a broke a$$ hoe however because I still managed to find some dolla dolla bills y’all to purchase these two lovelies from Urban Outfitters…

Stripes are my jam.

I ended the night by FINALLY finishing An Education.

It was so good – lovely and inspiring. I also now have a girl crush on Carey Mulligan.

This morning, Kristie and I met up for a 3-mile run at 7:30am.

Yes, seven-thirty in the morning.

You can do those things when you get to bed at 10:30pm on a Saturday night, yo.

Plus, when you have decided on getting the BEST scones in the world post-run, the motivation is definitely there to pound out those miles for one of these…

In the words of one of rap’s biggest creepers, it was the world’s greatest.

Now, I’m off to enjoy the rest of Sunday hopefully not solo but nonetheless filled with yoga, laying out at the park, reading, watching more of The Tudors: Season 1 and making homemade pizza.

With that, we out, we out.

Stay tuned tomorrow for a faboosh giveaway!

With the help of M.T., I am learning not to trust my thoughts.

Thoughts: What’s wrong with me? I am only telling you the truth.

Like when they tell me that if only I sell all my worldly possessions, hitchhike out to L.A., find a job as a receptionist to a cupping specialist and parade around Brentwood like a total creeper, then maybe Jake Gyllenhaal will find me completely irresistable and fall in love with me.

Me: Screw you thoughts; I’ve had it up to here with yo craziness!

Or, perhaps when that cruel skinny bitch inside us all sits on our right shoulder as we gaze in front of the mirror and says, “Have you thought about losing those last 5 pounds?” or “Honey, you would look so much better with a tan and perhaps some make-up?”

Thoughts: Like Stacy + Clinton say, look good, feel good! I am just helping you out.

Most of the time, the thoughts I can’t trust are the subconscious ones I don’t realize I am thinking. I mean, I would tell you what they are, but that would require a solid 60 minutes of therapy in a white padded room with yours truly, and I just don’t think you are ready for that.

Me: I’m not listening, I’m not listening…

However, there are some thoughts I can always trust.

Like when your friend Brett asks you to go out for drinks and enjoy a warm summer Friday evening…

My thought is immediately yes. And I listen to it.

Thoughts: So you listen to your friend Brett but not your very own thoughts? How rude!

I often have thoughts of creating healthy, amazing and unique breakfast recipes to leisurely devour on a Saturday morning, and I always make sure to listen to those too.

1/2 cup oats + 1 cup water
1 egg whisked in
cinnamon + maple sugar
Banana Soft Serve
nearly empty Justin’s Maple Almond Butter Jar

OIAJ topped with Banana Soft Serve?

Recognize and listen.

Me: I hear you thoughts! I hear you! On the OIAJ with Banana Soft Serve, that is.

When health-minded companies contact me asking if I would review a product for the blog, my first thought is always: would I buy this for myself to try it?

Thoughts: (said in a mocking tone, obvs) “Would I buy this for myself to try it?” Whatever. I’m over you.

If the answer is yes, then I say yes.

And the answer to Pomi was yes.

Thank you to Jaclyn and everyone at the Italian-based Pomi company for the generous amount of samples!

Me: Good thoughts, because I was over you a loooong time ago.

We’ve got strained tomatoes…

And chopped tomatoes…

One of the major reasons I said yes to this was because of the amazing company and quality of the product. First and foremost, the ONLY ingredient in here is tomatoes. Simple as that.

Thoughts: (silence)

In addition, Pomi tomatoes are…

• Organic
• Low in sodium (10 mg compared to 250-400 mg in Hunts + DelMonte)
• BPA-free
• Free of artificial flavoring
• Preservative-free
• Only 20 calories per 1/2-cup serving

Not to mention, tomatoes are just dang good for you anyways.

Me: (smiling)

Hmmm….24 boxes of strained tomatoes, 24 boxes of chopped tomatoes and one Everythingtarian belly to fill – what’s a gal to do with all these lycopene-laden treats?

Thoughts?

There are many reasons why I could legitimately, in theory, be called a grandma.

• If I had it my way, I’d be in bed by 9:30pm every night.
• I never miss birthdays.
• Most nights, I would prefer to drink tea, read a book and fall asleep to the sounds of Wheel of Fortune. Yes, Wheel of Fortune is on at 6:30pm in my timezone. Draw your own conclusions.
• One day, I want a garden to spend my elderly days tending it with the utmost love and affection.
• Benefiber is my friend.

However, out of the many reasons why I should look more like a 70-year-old lady with saggy skin, achy hips and a subscription to The Quilter magazine, there is one that reigns supreme: my horrible, borderline Alzheimer’s-esque memory.

In short, I remember things that don’t matter and completely forget things that do.

For example, I did not forget one single ingredient in my Banana Split Overnight Oats. In fact, the finished product was exactly how I imagined it would be: luscious, thick and delicious.

1/2 cup rolled oats
1/2 cup vanilla Greek yogurt
1/2 cup organic skim milk
1 T cocoa powder

~ soaked overnight ~

1/2 sliced naner
1/2 cup sliced strawberries
1 crumbled Dark Chocolate Muffin

It was even better once I messed it all up and downed it with two cups of coffee + milk…

I may have remembered to put every ingredient in my breakfast, but I forgot to lock the door to my apartment when I left this morning. Luckily, I live in a safe neighborhood and everything was fine, but come on Holly Grandma – would remembering something of logical life importance kill you?

Don’t answer that. I am 70-years-old after all…I can’t joke about things like that.

Per May of Positivity Month, I also said I would include one Nugget of Positivity in every post for the rest of the month. So far, I am 2 for 6. If I was a baseball player, I could win a batting title with a .333 average. But I’m not. I’m a food blogger. A .333 average is paltry, at best.

In other words, I owe you all four nuggets:

Nugget of Positivity #1: I may have found a new fave yog mess concoction today when I mixed up 1/2 cup 2% plain Greek yog, 1 T strawberry jelly + 1 crumbled Dark Chocolate Muffin.

Nugget of Positivity #2: Taking a break from work and eating a slice of homemade banana bread (thanks Ilsa!) while reading People.com for the latest celebrity updates. Mental rejuvenation.

Nugget of Positivity #3: When I take the time to prepare meals on Sundays, it never ever fails to make my life so much easier eating-wise the rest of the week. Whipping up Caitlin’s Flax-Encrusted Sweet Potato Balls yesterday made for the easiest, on-the-go lunch alongside carrots + mustard (for dippage).

Nugget of Positivity #4: I ran 10.5 miles (with a post-run 1 mile cool down walk) after work with my friend Brett. It wasn’t the best-feeling run, but with the help of Brett, I did it. We did it. In about a 10:00/mile pace to be exact.

When I got home, I devoured a bit of this…

Then, I stretched for a good 10 minutes before replenishing my muscle stores with a protein-packed veggie egg scramble + two slices of Ezekiel toast…

I topped off the meal with lots of water and a POM mocktail…

And then my old lady body decided it just can’t handle 10.5 miles like it used to.

I’m currently laying in bed with the worst bout of nauseousness I have perhaps ever had. Mind you, I am a drama queen, so take this statement with a grain of salt, but something ain’t sitting right in G’ma Everythingtarian’s belly.

Like a true woman of the ages (like the real G’ma Everythingtarian herself), I am trying to handle the situation with class. I’ve tied my hair in a mock-French chignon, wrapped myself in a fluffy robe, crawled in bed and applied a thin layer of Vaseline all over my face to fight those dastardly wrinkles.

I feel like something is off however…

Hmmm…

Yes, I’m definitely forgetting something…

Ahhh yes – underwear!