I’m not fancy…like, at all.
You know those women who know which fork to use at the dinner table…are never without expertly-manicured hands…and know what words like “fascinator,”first class” and “amuse bouche” mean? Think Sex and the City’s Charlotte. Or Victoria Beckham. Or that annoying woman whose heels clack when she walks at work (there’s always one of them).
I wish I had it together like that! But I don’t.
I use one fork. I gnaw at my fingernails. And I thought amuse bouche was some booty-dancing club move until I watched Top Chef and realized it has nothing to do with dropping it low. And I’m okay with that, because I’m fun and don’t resemble an alien (ahem, Mrs. Beckham).

I like to travel to Germany, drink lots of beer, get really drunk at the world-famous Hofbrauhaus and lick my apple strudel plate clean…in public.

I Bernie at weddings. Invite me to your wedding…I’ll Bernie there too.

And I won’t come to your bachelorette party in New Orleans unless there is an agreement before-hand on a pirate theme, absinthe-laced drinks and the inappropriate use of the joke, “What does a pirate call a prostitute? A hook-arrrrrr!” all party long.
No spas or classy champagne cocktails allowed.
But despite these things, I guess even a beer-drinking, blue-cheese-and-bacon-fries-eating, food-blogging squirrel like me finds a nut sometimes. A nut in the form of Curried Acorn Squash & Roasted Apple Soup.
It sounds fancy, but trust me – get past the name, and you’ll find it’s nothing but easy.
And delicious.
And so very h-ARRRRR-d to resist.
Yeah, I went there.
Curried Acorn Squash & Roasted Apple Soup
Prep time: 60 minutes
Cook time: 10-15 minutes
2 acorn squash, halved and deseeded
2 small apples, cut into large chunks
2 to 3 cups vegetable broth
1 t curry powder
1/2 t garlic powder
1/2 t coriander
1/4 t cinnamon
salt + pepper, to taste
plain Greek yogurt, red pepper flakes and chopped cilantro, for garnish (optional)
Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
Place halved squashes and apples on a baking sheet to roast. After 20 minutes, remove apples from baking sheet and place in a small bowl. Let squash continue to roast until soft. Remove from the oven, scoop out the squash and add to the bowl.
In a food processor or blender, puree apples, squash and 1 cup of broth until smooth. Pour into a Dutch oven or soup pot, add the remaining broth and place over medium-low heat. Once the soup comes to a boil, turn heat to low, add spices and let simmer for an additional 5 minutes.
To serve, pour into bowls and top with your choice of garnishes.
Makes 4 servings






{ 32 comments }
This looks swimable (like I could swim in it…a really yummy little swim).
Also, I wish so badly I knew you when I got married – I would have loved to have you Bernie at my wedding.
I still think you’re classy. I want to dress up like a pirate with you.
Well, I fancy you, and I imagine I’d fancy this soup almost as much.
seeing as that I had a soup fail this week I’m a little scared to try making this…
but it looks so good I may have to!
I love that you bernie. And I love that you made this soup. Now can we just get on with being real life friends already!?
I think we should have a joint “I’m not getting married” bachelorette party at the Hofbrauhaus with lots of amuse bouche-ing (not to be confused with amuse douching).
This brings to mind my favorite Rhett Butler GWTW quote: “Ladies have never held any charm for me.”
Holly this soup looks amazing! I am making it this week to help me recover after my eye surgery! Thank you!
You’re hilarious. I love this blog.
Ooh very fancy soup!! It looks delicious and you are, as ever, hilarious. Non-fancy ladies of the world unite!
Haha-im not fancy either!! Ive always wanted to try a soup that combines squash and apple, seems liketheyd go so well together
Fascinator :) I had to think about that one for a minute…I knew it rang a bell. I received a fancy hat for Christmas that makes me feel all Royal Duchess.
Hahaha all I can say is I wish I were at that bachelorette party!
At first I was all like “I know what amuse bouche means!” And then I realized that I only know what it means because I watch Top Chef, too. Damn.
I’m making something similar this week! Delicious and perfect. :D
And I LOVE your pirate costume! That is *the* best. :D
Oh this post made me laugh! That soup looks and sounds delicious. This just reminded me…I owe you an email…
You’re officially in charge of my bachelorette party. For realz.
Ah! This soup sounds really good..and I actually have everything on hand already! Do you think it would be good w/ chicken broth instead of veg…??
You crack me up! Love the plate licking photo…classy! ;)
I’m glad I’m not the only non-girly girl around here! Yay for us! :D
That pirate theme is awesome. We did a Magnum PI theme for a bachelorette I went to in New Orleans- those themes are just SO much better than the veil/penis/sparkly dress themes. That soup looks yummy- love blended soups like that. :)
ummmm, may i formally request your bernie skills at my next social engagement?!
pirate themed bachelorette party? um, heck yes!
and i kid you not, in college, i use to always say it was impossible for me to have class because of my curly hair. like my curls just always made me slightly off kilter and a wee bit more cray cray looking.
i wish i had a bowl of soup i’m so cold :(
I second Katie’s swimmable comment.
Sad that I’ve already had my wedding too.
What is your address and I will send you a wedding invite? Bring the classy soup…it will fancy up our Little Debbie cake :)
You make me laugh……thank you
I love the thought of apples in soup! Or I guess apples in anything. I pretty much just love apples a lot.
I think I could actually make this!!!
Yes please!
YUM – that soup sounds absolutely delicious! Also, your post made me smile all the way through…love your writing voice and sense of humor. I think you must be a BLAST to hang out with! :D
This soup sounds like something I’d love. I recently made my first butternut squash soup and fell in love. I am gonna try and pick up some acorn squash this weekend and give this a shot. Apples and squash? How can that be bad!?!?
If I ever get married, I totally will take the idea of a themed bachelorette party seriously! I always dress like a pirate for “holidays” so I may have to go with a different theme, but never the less, I’ll have a theme :) The soup is fancy.. just like your fancy striped pirate socks! Keep those around for a “Where’s Waldo” Halloween costume!! hahahaha :) Love it…
I’m glad you’re not all classy and fancy. I probably wouldn’t read your blog if you were. Okay, maybe I would, but I know you don’t really want to be fancy anyway!
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