Hello ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to Healthy Everythingtarian Flight #359 to Wisconsin. If you’re going to Wisconsin, you’re in the right place. If you’re not going to Wisconsin, you’re about to have a really long evening.
Our first stop is the capital of Wisconsin…Madison! Here we find these delicious organic raspberries grown by a local farming family on a lovely bed of cereal and skim milk from right here in America’s Dairyland.
Our next stop, we are going to travel south of the border to have a fiesta de platanos en Guatemala. Our mid-flight meal will involve a nice yellow banana to get our potassium levels up for the rest of the journey.
Ladies and gentlemen, please return to your seats. The seatbelt sign has been turned on as we are due to hit some turbulence as we cross the Atlantic Ocean before landing in London’s Heathrow Airport. Before we land, please enjoy your British-inspired salad – an array of courgettes (ahem, cucumbers), tomatoes, greens and strawberries with some English blue cheese and walnuts, all in a raspberry vinaigrette.
Excuse me, may I have your attention please? Due to inclement weather, there has been a change of plans. We shall make an emergency landing in Greece to enjoy some Greek pizza before continuing on elsewhere. I apologize for any inconvenience.
Our apologies for the flight diversion. Please enjoy this Healthy Everythingtarian Airways’ homemade Vegan Tropical Breakfast Bar while we continue our smooth journey on to…
Ladies and gentlemen, please refrain from running 9 miles upon exiting the plane. I imagine your legs are sore from running 18 miles the 18 hour flight thus far, so kick back, relax and do an easy 7 miles instead. Perhaps enjoy a float in the Dead Sea upon completion. Flight #359 will take off in approximately 3 hours, where a dinner of pita, hummus, tomato and fresh greens shall be served.
Before you exit the plane, please fill out your visa card upon arrival back to the United States. The immigration officials in the Boise, Idaho airport will take your card before you and your luggage will be scanned through customs. After you have passed through, you may then eat your potatoes roasted in a Hidden Valley Ranch packet + canola oil.
Thank you for flying Healthy Everythingtarian Airways. We hope you had an enjoyable flight, and look forward to seeing you up in the skies again soon.