Back to Me

by Holly on May 2, 2010

in breakfast,dinner,Japanese,lunch,seriousness

I have not felt like myself these past four weeks.

I’ve been crabby, slightly bitchy, crazed, especially neurotic, stressed and uber-frustrated all month long. Usually I’m only one or two of these things on a given day…not all six.

I apologize to anyone who had to deal with me in the month of April. You all deserve an award for putting up with me and my sometimes difficult self.

But it’s over.

On Friday afternoon, I did the best thing I could have done for myself: I high-tailed it out of Madison and went home. However, my old self did not return upon my arrival la casa de Everythingtarian.  In fact, on my car ride there, I only became more crazed and stressed.

Case in point: 1 bag of Nacho Cheese Corn Nuts, 1/2 box of Kashi Heart 2 Heart cereal + 1/2 my sister’s DQ Peanut Buster Parfait (when I got home).

After a glorious 10 hours of sleep, I awoke on Saturday morning feeling a bit better, if not slightly bloated from the cacophony of carbage consumed above. Perusing Mama + Daddy Everythingtarian’s kitchen, I decided on a lovely bowl of Spiced Pear Oatmeal

1/2 cup oats + 1 cup water
1 egg stirred in
pinch of salt
1 diced pear
drizzle of maple syrup
spoonful of PB

Going in for the $$$ shot…

Honestly, I don’t know if I liked pear in my oatmeal. It was too mushy and smooth. I need more crunch and texture. No worries, I still dominated the bowl.

Lunch was the BEST GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICH I’VE EVER HAD. True fact. However, I hang my head in shame as I bear no pictures of it.  Again, no worries because I fully plan on recreating it this week.

I sat around watching Say Yes to the Dress, Parenthood (1989 movie classic) and Keeping Up with the Kardashians, running to Target and the grocery store and just hangin’ with the fam.  They deserve the ultimatest of awards for putting up with me day in and day out, really.

Apparently, my camera tells me I enjoyed two M&M cookies at some point.

Perhaps it was a glass (or two) of shiraz cabernet from Daddy E.’s wine cabinet and an omega-3, veggie-filled dinner that really jumpstarted the return of my old self?

2 handfuls spring mix
red pepper
sunflower seeds
Wee Willy’s Red French dressing (the best!)
grilled salmon
two pieces grilled baguette

Or maybe not? I think the nutritiousness of this meal was negated by the two large bowls of vanilla bean ice cream topped with more M&M cookies + raspberry jelly I consumed.  But then again, the ice cream may also be doubly negated by the five-mile walk my mom, sister + I took after dinner.

I told you I’ve been a bit neurotic.

Anyways, after less than a day and a half at home, I hit the road early this morning back to Madison.  I didn’t want to leave Mama, Daddy + sissies but a gal has got to honor her social schedule, no?

Peanut butter + raspberry jelly toast on sprouted grain bread and a Starbucks coffee for the road…

And then it came.

Passing by the 1970’s-style Family Pioneer Restaurant in Harrisville, the bright sunlight of this fine Wisconsin spring day shone down on my crusty, still-yet-to-be-washed face, the wind rustled through my frizzy hair, and I returned.

Me. The me I’ve missed for the month of April.

In all her obnoxious glory, she sang at the top of her pre-pubescent 13-year-old boy lungs to the sounds of British wonder Fyfe Dangerfield and proclaimed, “I can’t help it if I’m happy. I can’t help it if I’m happy not to be sad.” Because really, is there any better reason to just be happy?

With that, the happy, optimistic, fun and silly Holly returned.

Thank the sweet Lord.

Then, I listened to this song on repeat for the next hour and a half back to Madison.  Because when you find that small sliver of joy and hope – whatever it may be – you hold onto it as long as you can.  In fact, I am listening to this song for the 42nd time right now as I type this.

After an hour-long kundalini yoga date with Ilsa back in Madison, us ladies decided to continue the detoxification process and fill ourselves with good bacteria, sea minerals and heart-healthy fish.

Starting with the good bacteria, miso soup

…then some sea minerals in the form of seaweed salad with sesame ginger dressing…

…and finally, per the decision of the sushi chef, I ended up with a spicy tuna roll, avocado roll and yellowfin tuna + chive roll…

Detoxed and devoured.

Afterwards, we made a quick run to Trader Joe’s for some goods.  Yoga, sushi + Trader Joe’s? If Ilsa were a guy, I would marry her. Like right now.

As if this all weren’t enough, I met up with an old friend of mine who I haven’t seen in years. This only improved my already happy day 10-fold, because Justin is the bestest.  I don’t even know what to say about this kid. What I can say is he is one of my best supporters, sends my self-esteem soaring through the roof and is going to famous himself one day.  Mark my words.

Now that I have successfully gushed my guts out in this post, I will end by saying I just devoured a falafel salad alongside a banana + AB.

But no picture was taken. Mostly because I ate it too fast.

Clearly, I am back to my old self.


Jenna May 2, 2010 at 7:15 pm

It is amazing what a little bit of ‘home’ and family can do for your well being. I’m so happy that you FEEL like your old self, that is what is most important. :)

Mike is an avid Corn Nut fan, too. I tried a few nuts from his Caliente bag today, lol. Have a wonderful evening!

Gabriela @ Fro-Yo Lover May 2, 2010 at 7:19 pm

Awwwwwwwww – that is terrific, Holly!
I gotta tell you – I simply LOVE your old self…
Hapiness is definetely the X factor :)
Welcome back, girl!
Happy May!
Brazilian XOXO´s,

Evan Thomas May 2, 2010 at 7:20 pm

Congratulations on finding the old you :-)
Hold the phone–you put jelly on your ice cream? OK clearly you need to start sending out enewsletters with ideas like this.
Isn’t time at home-home amazing?

Jessica @ How Sweet It Is May 2, 2010 at 7:22 pm

There is nothing like going home and finding yourself again. I agree that it is very refreshing and just gives a breath of fresh air!

Nicole May 2, 2010 at 7:35 pm

It’s amazing what a trip home and some good music can do! I’m with you on the repeats, when I find a song that makes me feel happy, calm, or just me, I keep it going!!

Tay May 2, 2010 at 7:49 pm

Awww missy I’m sorry you were a “different person” the past month :-( But I am SO GLAD you’re back in full force. Those times in our lives suck a bunch, but it makes us appreciate ourselves even more :-) Glad you had a good recuperating time at home!

Alison May 2, 2010 at 7:59 pm

welcome back Holly :D

BroccoliHut May 2, 2010 at 8:04 pm

Yay for the return of Holly! I wish I could go home myself one of these days. I just got off the phone with my family (I was on speaker phone), and I nearly cried I miss them all so much. However, this post put a bright spot in my day. Glad that you’re feeling like you again:)

Jenna May 2, 2010 at 8:18 pm

glad you got to go home! sometimes that is what we all need :)
and i am happy to hear the old HOLLY is back in action ;)

Lisa (I'm an Okie) May 2, 2010 at 8:26 pm

Hello Holly! :) Glad the real you is back! and seriously–corn nuts—dinner of champions! :)

I love weekends at home sometimes–sometimes its just what you need to rejuvenate.

claire May 2, 2010 at 8:31 pm

So happy to hear that you are feeling like you surpassed any negative energy you felt you had! It looks like some home meals and fresh sushi and yoga was just what you needed! That open faced pb and j…yum!

Danielle May 2, 2010 at 8:43 pm

So glad you’re back! But I’m sure the happiest of all is you :) three cheers for a glorious weekend!

Lauren May 2, 2010 at 8:47 pm

I have been feeling quite the same lately. Not really sure what it is, just a funk, but I do know one thing…..Wine, DQ and Sushi are all the most recommended remedies for this. You my dear, are doing just fine! :)

Seriously though Holly, I hope that you feel better and I hope that the trip home was just what you needed to lighten your spirits! :) I know it’s so easy to get caught up in the chaos of life and it definitely takes a toll on our moods, but I promise, I didn’t even notice! You are always making my day brighter with your uplifting posts filled with enjoyable wit and lovable attitude.

This month is going to be fabulous for you! :) Take care darling.

Matt May 2, 2010 at 8:59 pm

Glad to have you back :)

Megan @ The Oatmeal Diaries May 2, 2010 at 9:25 pm

Mmm delicious eats! For some reason that pb & jelly looks amaaazing. Love your blog so far :)

Jess May 2, 2010 at 9:41 pm

I’m so glad you found your old self, girl!! Delicious eats in the process!
<3 jess

Erica D May 2, 2010 at 9:42 pm

I’m so glad you’re feeling more like yourself! I just got an unexpected jolt of identity-derailment: apparently my study abroad program does not start until mid september, not late august as i had planned. but i don’t really want to go home…kinda done with connecticut/most of the northeast. what’s a girl to do before she goes to a foreign country with strangers for four months?

fly home?
linger around colorado?
find an ashram/monastery/insert-random-sanctuary-here to chill at?
take an adventure to somewhere completely random?

tooo many options. any thoughts?

Amy B @ Second City Randomness May 2, 2010 at 10:32 pm

Corn Nuts are often essentials on my roadtrips home. That and coffee. Weird combo, but what can I say?

Glad to know you’re feeling a little better! Hopefully May will be an awesome one!

Madeline - Greens and Jeans May 2, 2010 at 10:47 pm

DQ and a bit of home-ness fixes everything. Do you know why May will be better? Because I get to meet you!!!!!

One Healthy Apple May 3, 2010 at 12:30 am

Hi there- I’m not sure if I’ve ever commented, but I’ve been lurking for quite a bit and LOVE your blog. Your writing style is fabulous and I love the brutal honesty.

Glad your old self is back, although I had no problem with you in April ;)

Katie @ Health for the Whole Self May 3, 2010 at 5:25 am

So glad you’re feeling like yourself again!!! I know exactly what it’s like to just feel OFF for way longer than you want or expect to…and getting back in touch with yourself is such a relieving experience! Have a wonderful week! :)

Sarah (Running To Slow Things Down) May 3, 2010 at 7:28 am

I love that you sang at the top of your lungs in your car. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one. ;)

So glad you’re feeling back to your normal self again!! :D

Maya May 3, 2010 at 7:31 am

I followed the link to the youtube video and I love the song now! I’d never heard of him, thanks! Glad a weekend at home helped you find yourself, I would certainly miss your blog posts otherwise!

Have a great Monday, Holly.

Heidi May 3, 2010 at 9:21 am

Welcome back!! Sometimes, we all need a detour to remember the “essence of us” and to recall what truly makes us happy. It might be an uncomfortable rabbit trail, but I find them to be necessary :) Maybe the ice cream and M&M cookies helped? :)

Angharad May 3, 2010 at 9:22 am

Sorry you’ve been feeling so poo-poo. Nothing like a good weekend to get you back on track. I had an excellente one but missed you at May Day. You’d have appreciated the tacos and churros.xx

Michal May 3, 2010 at 9:53 am

Yay on finding the old you again, I know lately i have been all over the place so now that im attempting to get back into the groove of things it feels so good. Your oatmeal money shot looks drool worthy too! :)

samantha May 3, 2010 at 10:42 am

welcome back kotter!

April May 3, 2010 at 10:57 am

Yay!! Welcome back my friend! I’m so sorry you had a rough month.. but I’m glad everything is looking up! :)

Erica May 3, 2010 at 11:09 am

glad you’re back :) A trip home always seems to make me feel a better. Corn nuts? I used to love those things in elementary school…I didn’t know they still made them hahahaha. Ow seaweed salad….Erica wants.

kate May 3, 2010 at 11:15 am

So glad youre back to yourself! Your weekend looks like it was a fun one. Im in major need of a sushi-date.

Diana @ frontyardfoodie May 3, 2010 at 11:23 am

Haha, again, you make me giggle. I’m glad to hear you’re feeling better! nothing like family to bring you back….and of course good friends.

ellie May 3, 2010 at 11:32 am

Um, thank you for posting that song. You have quite literally saved me from going insane this afternoon. I have had it on repeat for the past hour…music = therapy for the soul.

So glad you are feeling better! I didn’t want to intrude, but I know life has been rough lately for you…welcome back to being YOU!!!!!

runnerforever May 3, 2010 at 12:27 pm

I’m glad you are back to your old self! Your food looks soooo good, I want all of it!!

Sami May 3, 2010 at 12:43 pm

yummmmmmm for jelly on ice cream! totally with ya on that one.

you’ve also got me craving some seaweed salad! haven’t had it in FOREVER!

WholeBodyLove May 3, 2010 at 1:04 pm

Aw…looks like we are all glad to have you back!

Emily (A Nutritionist Eats) May 3, 2010 at 2:48 pm

Glad you are back and feeling better! :) xoxox
PS. I will marry both of you if your afternoon is yoga, sushi and grocery store… ;)

Faith May 3, 2010 at 5:15 pm

I’m glad you’re feeling like yourself again! I was kind-of off in April too…I blame the weather. ;)

Lauren (Health on the Run) May 3, 2010 at 11:17 pm

Welcome back! :) Being home with my family has the same effect on me. Sometimes it’s a little delayed, but I’m always amazed at the power of a couple of hours at home in the company of my parents and sisters.

Plus, as far as months go, May is >>>> (way better) than April. Hope things keep looking up from here! :)

Courtney (Pancakes & Postcards) May 4, 2010 at 1:39 am

I LOLed at your dinner graphic. It is funny what it comes down to sometimes, isn´t it? I´m glad you are feeling better and I hope that May is much more awesome for you!

Molly May 4, 2010 at 5:45 am

I’m glad the old you is back Hol. Embrace the funk, get over it, and move on. It took me the entire winter of 2009-2010 to achieve this. Thank God for sun, friends from America –> Japan, and lots of PB. Ahh, so good to be back! Love ya girl! XOXO

Susan May 5, 2010 at 8:14 pm

Listening to that song now – love it :)

SO happy to hear “holly” is back. I totally know what you mean when you say you aren’t yourself. But there are good things in each day, some days they’re just harder to find than others!!

“carbage” Did you just make that up? Genius :)

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