I hate when people say, “Be Yourself,” as if I know exactly what that is.
If I was stuck in a horribly awkward job interview where they had nothing better to ask me than, “Describe yourself in three words,” I would most likely respond with, “Independent, outgoing and kind.” It’s my go-to trio just in case I ever do find myself in that unfortunate predicament.
Three measly words? I would much prefer at least two minutes to perform an evocative, soul-baring song and dance number.
Because three words is not me. Not all of me. Not all the time.
While I can be the queen of indecisiveness, I also have my days where I know exactly what I want and I go for it. That includes this morning’s cereal-yogurt bowl, which was devoured in about 0.27 seconds.
1 cup Kashi Heart 2 Heart
1 crumbled Healthy Breakfast Bar
3/4 cup plain Greek yogurt
1/2 cup blackberries
1/2 T peanut butter
An intelligent, wise woman who goes by the code name of Mama Everythingtarian tells me, “Hollis Anne, just be yourself.” And I see her infinite wisdom and where she is coming from when saying this. However, what kind of look-at-me, I-have-it-all-together 25-year-old (or anybody of any age for that matter) really knows who they are and what they want?”
Perhaps today I feel like changing my name to Lara and going on an all nut + fruit diet…
…or maybe after I write this post, I want to go to the airport, buy the first flight out to Greece and embark on a sizzling, Greek love affair I can later write about in my juicy tell-all memoir…
By sizzling, Greek love affair, I mean eat falafel all day long.
And by tell-all memoir, I am currently crossing my fingers in hopes (a) I didn’t just jinx that, and (b) I start doing much more interesting things a la Chelsea Handler so I actually have something to tell.
If was to be myself, I would have bought regular ol’ hummus at the grocery store. But I didn’t. Yesterday, I may have been plain hummus, but today, I am of the artichoke + spinach variety…
Despite my fluid, eccentric nature, there are constants in my life. And everyday, I find myself adding to that list of things I do in fact know about me:
- I’m slightly crazy.
- I’m also impatient, guarded, don’t trust people very easily and have a penchant for interrupting others when they are talking.
- I genuinely like meeting, talking, interacting and being around people.
- I like flowers, especially tulips + daisies.
- I much prefer baths to showers (even if creepy crawly things fall in when I am taking them).
- I value my family, friends and freedom.
- I talk almost as fast as the Micro-Machine man.
- Traveling is the one true love of my life.
Because I am hoping all of these little things – the daily victories, realizations and list additions – will eventually add up bit by bit and coalesce into something that resembles…well…ME.
Yes, me. Although, sometimes it’s hard to keep all this in perspective…
Like for example, when you go out on a date or are still just getting to know somebody new. It’s easy to fumble words, get nervous, act unlike yourself and then get mad at yourself the next day for saying something stupid. Don’t get mad at yourself for dominating the chips + salsa however…
You know that is something you would do (or at least I would) on a date, with friends, hanging out with family or by yourself.
Drinking doesn’t help either.
Before you know it, you will find yourself down one prickly pear margarita and two beers. You may know that getting a wee bit tipsy on a Monday night isn’t “being yourself,” but the person you are with certainly doesn’t know that.
Maybe eventually he (or she) will…or maybe not.
But at the end of the day, it’s still just you.
You go to sleep, eat breakfast, brush your teeth, get dressed, and you face whatever the day has in store for you. Married, single, in a relationship, with kids, without kids…you are still just yourself.
And so am I.
Outgoing, kind, Greek love affairs, writing, plain or artichoke spinach hummus, crazy, flowers, freedom, people, saying dumb things, writing dumb things, accidentally getting drunk, going on 4-mile runs, not knowing what I want, knowing exactly what I want, wanting more, wanting less, travel, family, insecurities, awkwardness, successes and failures…it’s ALL me.
Here’s to embracing me AND you and every little single thing we do, say, perform, think, feel and act. Because like it or not, it’s all a part of us.
So, in other words…just be yourself.
And yes, I realize the hypocrisy in telling you the exact phrase I hate so much.
Hypocrite. Add it to the list.