Be Yourself

by Holly on April 27, 2010

in breakfast,dinner,eating out,lunch,Mexican,seriousness

I hate when people say, “Be Yourself,” as if I know exactly what that is.

I don’t.

If I was stuck in a horribly awkward job interview where they had nothing better to ask me than, “Describe yourself in three words,” I would most likely respond with, “Independent, outgoing and kind.” It’s my go-to trio just in case I ever do find myself in that unfortunate predicament.

Three measly words? I would much prefer at least two minutes to perform an evocative, soul-baring song and dance number.

Because three words is not me.  Not all of me.  Not all the time.

While I can be the queen of indecisiveness, I also have my days where I know exactly what I want and I go for it. That includes this morning’s cereal-yogurt bowl, which was devoured in about 0.27 seconds.

1 cup Kashi Heart 2 Heart
1 crumbled Healthy Breakfast Bar
3/4 cup plain Greek yogurt
1/2 cup blackberries
1/2 T peanut butter

An intelligent, wise woman who goes by the code name of Mama Everythingtarian tells me, “Hollis Anne, just be yourself.” And I see her infinite wisdom and where she is coming from when saying this. However, what kind of look-at-me, I-have-it-all-together 25-year-old (or anybody of any age for that matter) really knows who they are and what they want?”

Not me.

Perhaps today I feel like changing my name to Lara and going on an all nut + fruit diet…

…or maybe after I write this post, I want to go to the airport, buy the first flight out to Greece and embark on a sizzling, Greek love affair I can later write about in my juicy tell-all memoir…

By sizzling, Greek love affair, I mean eat falafel all day long.

And by tell-all memoir, I am currently crossing my fingers in hopes (a) I didn’t just jinx that, and (b) I start doing much more interesting things a la Chelsea Handler so I actually have something to tell.

If was to be myself, I would have bought regular ol’ hummus at the grocery store.  But I didn’t. Yesterday, I may have been plain hummus, but today, I am of the artichoke + spinach variety…

Despite my fluid, eccentric nature, there are constants in my life. And everyday, I find myself adding to that list of things I do in fact know about me:

  • I’m slightly crazy.
  • I’m also impatient, guarded, don’t trust people very easily and have a penchant for interrupting others when they are talking.
  • I genuinely like meeting, talking, interacting and being around people.
  • I like flowers, especially tulips + daisies.

Because I am hoping all of these little things – the daily victories, realizations and list additions – will eventually add up bit by bit and coalesce into something that resembles…well…ME.

Yes, me. Although, sometimes it’s hard to keep all this in perspective…

Like for example, when you go out on a date or are still just getting to know somebody new.  It’s easy to fumble words, get nervous, act unlike yourself and then get mad at yourself the next day for saying something stupid. Don’t get mad at yourself for dominating the chips + salsa however…

You know that is something you would do (or at least I would) on a date, with friends, hanging out with family or by yourself.

Drinking doesn’t help either.

Before you know it, you will find yourself down one prickly pear margarita and two beers.  You may know that getting a wee bit tipsy on a Monday night isn’t “being yourself,” but the person you are with certainly doesn’t know that.

Maybe eventually he (or she) will…or maybe not.

But at the end of the day, it’s still just you.

You go to sleep, eat breakfast, brush your teeth, get dressed, and you face whatever the day has in store for you. Married, single, in a relationship, with kids, without kids…you are still just yourself.

And so am I.

Outgoing, kind, Greek love affairs, writing, plain or artichoke spinach hummus, crazy, flowers, freedom, people, saying dumb things, writing dumb things, accidentally getting drunk, going on 4-mile runs, not knowing what I want, knowing exactly what I want, wanting more, wanting less, travel, family, insecurities, awkwardness, successes and failures…it’s ALL me.

Here’s to embracing me AND you and every little single thing we do, say, perform, think, feel and act. Because like it or not, it’s all a part of us.

So, in other words…just be yourself.

And yes, I realize the hypocrisy in telling you the exact phrase I hate so much.

Hypocrite. Add it to the list.

{ 10 comments }

Karena April 28, 2010 at 10:01 am

yeesh. that must be the latest ‘must ask’ interview question b/c i definitely got asked that one…and, in turn, asked my replacement the same question when i interviewed her. HA.

that prickly pear margarita sounds freaking delish!

Jessica April 28, 2010 at 10:19 am

Oooh Holly, I love you and this post so much! I too, am impatient and guarded…I like meeting other people, I love flowers (have ’em on my iphone background, helllooo!), my family, friends & freedom…the list goes on! And that’s just what makes me….me, right?! :)

So happy to see that Mr. Lawyer is still in the picture (unless you’re also dating someone else?! haha!!)….I want deets soon, please!!

And….in regards to the DELICIOUS-looking chips & salsa combo (and/or yog mess)….get in me belly. XOXO

Gabriela (froyolover) April 28, 2010 at 3:46 pm

Awwww – that was wonderful, girl!
I love your honesty :)
You´re the sweetest. I just know it ;)
Have a great night!
Brazilian XOXO´s,
Gabriela

Ashlei April 28, 2010 at 6:34 pm

I never know how to respond either…I never want to tell people “impossible and stubborn as all heck” because they’d probably go running away…I mean I’m super nice and all, but I like things the way I like things and can be pretty dead set in stuff.

I tend to interrupt people when they’re talking all the time too. Heh!

I love all flowers, but will pass on the creepy things falling into the bathtub. Lol

Faith April 28, 2010 at 7:28 pm

What a sweet post, Holly. I love daisies too — they’re so happy! :) I hate that question at job interviews too…you know what other question I hate — “why should I hire you?” Um, because I want a job, lol.

amanda April 28, 2010 at 7:33 pm

eh, when a job interviewer asks the three words that best describe me, i always want to plead the fifth. because three words? me? like, no, not even possible. i’m so with you on that! i can definitely tell from stalking your blog that you’re not a three word kind of girl. you’re worth wayyyy more than that!

and i want to be on chelsea handler’s round table so badly.

yumm-prickly pear margarita!

Katie April 28, 2010 at 8:28 pm

Seriously, you are an incredibly talented writer. I read your posts like a novel, and I would totally buy a book of you wrote it.

Also, I interrupt people, and I’ve been painfully aware of it since Jr. High when I got called out (aka screamed at) by my best friend, however, I just can’t stop myself. For some reason, I think I know what people want to say better than they do. I like to finish other’s sentences, even when I’m 100% off base. It’s annoying…I don’t want to be myself when that word vomit happens.

Meg April 29, 2010 at 8:43 am

My friend met Chelsea Handler and Jo Koy last week when they flew through Topeka, Kansas :) It’s our cumulative goal to be just like her as well! Have you read Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang? If not, do so immediately. As in today.

Like Katie^^, I read your blog daily. You are a beautifully talented writer; your conversational tone and wit make every sentence a treat. Keep it up! :)

Bekah April 29, 2010 at 1:27 pm

Yes, pretty much in love with this post. I’ve been struggling a lot with this, because being surrounded by new people at a new school alllll the way across the country, for one I have no idea what to say when someone asks about me. For two, how can you be yourself around new people that your not even sure you WANT to get to know or let in, and three, its hard to be yourself when you miss the person you were four months ago. gah, at the same time, i am me, all the time. whatevs. i’m done with this comment now. :)

well written and good point of view holly!

Diana @ frontyardfoodie April 29, 2010 at 2:24 pm

haha you never fail to crack me up. Although I’m quite sure that whoever you were hanging out with couldn’t hlep but love you like the rest of us do:)

Keep it coming, you’re very entertaining, loveable and hilarious.

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