Dear Future Man Friend…*

by Holly on September 11, 2011

in dessert,rambling,recipes,silliness

Dear Future Man Friend,

While we haven’t found each other quite yet, I wanted to warn you that when we do finally meet, I’ll probably be mean to you. But don’t worry! It just means I like you and haven’t progressed passed 2nd grade in the maturity department. Back in Mrs. Schneeweis’ class, I am pretty sure I told Braeden Kleven I hated his hypercolor t-shirt, but that was only because (a) I had a crush on this 2nd-grade hottie, and (b) I really wanted a hypercolor t-shirt.

And when we do meet, please wear a hypercolor t-shirt? It would make it really easy to spot you.

It would also be really easy to spot you if your name could be Jake Gyllenhaal. Now that I think about it, I realize I don’t really care what your name is as long as you are wearing beat-up Converse sneakers. Beat-up Converse forgives all…even if your name is Jack Goff.

Speaking of names, I reserve the right to name all of our children. In fact, I already have their names picked out. Although, since I don’t know YOUR name, I might need to hold off on any final decisions just to make sure your last name isn’t Goff.

Because I really like the name Jack.

Have I told you lately that I love you? Or that I have an unhealthy obsession with singing Olivia Newton-John songs? Or that I can recite every single line and every single lyric from the movie Grease? Or that I like getting physical on a daily basis?

But when I say ‘getting physical,’ I do mean physical activity. I am an active Everythingtarian, so I am crossing my pudgy fingers that you are too. Hiking, biking, running, playing tennis, walking, booty-popping…and afterwards, we can most definitely bump uglies fists in celebration.

Sooo…you’re probably thinking I talk a lot. And make random demands from someone I don’t even know yet. And that you’re not sure if you want to be with someone who sings songs from 1970s musicals and likes t-shirts that turn shades when you breathe on them.

I’m going to be honest with you: I’ll probably exploit you on my blog…get upset with you when you don’t want to watch Dance Moms or Big, Rich Texas with me…leave three days of dirty dishes in the sink…argue with you until you’re so exasperated with my absurd stubbornness that you destroy my only copy of Grease 2 (which probably isn’t a bad thing)…incessantly interrupt you when you’re trying to tell me a story…and regale you with endless hours of interpretive dancing, including my infamous ‘mom dance.’

But I swear I have a lot to give too!

I’ll make you laugh…even if it is at my horrible TV choices.

I’m open-minded and accepting…I won’t make you change who you are, unless you’re name really is Jack Goff. Then, the name’s gotta go.

I’ll happily support you in any endeavor, choice, action or idea you want to make happen…and if that endeavor ends up being traveling the world together, then all the better.

And after we do meet and you swear you’ll never date me because of how mean I am to you, I promise to make you a batch of these brownies to make up for it.

I’ll even throw in an extra interpretive dance if you’re wearing Converses.


Sharon’s Crunchy Crack Brownies
adapted from Sharon Sutliff, my friend’s mom

1/2 cup (1 stick) butter
2 cups sugar
4 eggs
6 T cocoa powder
1 cup flour
2 t vanilla extract
1/2 t salt
1/2 t baking powder
1 small jar marshmallow cream
1 cup peanut butter
2 cups chocolate chips
3 cups Rice Krispies cereal

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

With a mixer, cream together butter, sugar and eggs. Fold in cocoa powder, flour, vanilla, salt and baking powder. Pour batter into a 9×13″ pan, and bake for 25 to 30 minutes, or until toothpick comes out clean. Cool.

Spread the marshmallow cream in an even layer once brownies have cooled. Set aside.

Melt peanut butter and chocolate chips in a microwave-safe dish in 30 second intervals, stirring between cooking. Once melted, mix in Rice Krispies and stir to evenly coat cereal. Spread Rice Krispies mixture over the marshmallow cream in an even layer.

Refrigerate until firm. Cut into squares, and enjoy!

*inspired by my lovely friend Mackenzie


Erica September 11, 2011 at 2:04 pm

I have chocolate krispies in the cabinet.. And now i want to bake!! Great post :) im sure man will love it when he reads it

kathleen September 11, 2011 at 2:08 pm

Any recipe that starts of with one stick of butter has to be good. I love the name jack too.

emily (a nutritionist eats) September 11, 2011 at 2:10 pm

Love this letter. You can just send the link to any potential suitors. :)

Kimberly September 11, 2011 at 2:23 pm

You are hilarious. I am going to keep an eye out for a man friend for you. He’s gonna have to be a really really good one…

chelsey @ clean eating chelsey September 11, 2011 at 2:23 pm

All I have to say, is your future manfriend will be LUCKY to have you! Grease 2 an all!

Brittney @ Brittney Breathing September 11, 2011 at 2:39 pm

Can I just say that I think we were meant to be BFFs?! Awkward because it’s my first time commenting…but I also know all of the words to every Grease song AND I own a copy of Grease 2 (pretty sure we are the owners of the only 2 copies that exist). Oh annnnd I live in Wisconsin (cheeeeese). Crazy!!

Katie September 11, 2011 at 2:43 pm

Mmm, these look so ooey gooey and delicious. I’d marry you for a batch of them if I wan’t already married.

Bella September 11, 2011 at 2:57 pm

this was adorbs :)

Amanda September 11, 2011 at 2:58 pm

Beat-up converse! I love it. Andy wore them lots when we first started dating. It was a factor in marrying him for sure.

I reserve the right to marry my future children too. Thank god our last name isn’t Goff. Love it.

Lauren September 11, 2011 at 3:06 pm

I just made some “crack” brownies last weekend and I have to say, I’m a big advocate that baking is the way to a man’s heart. Good thing my man married me regardless because baking isn’t necessarily my thing. But looks like you’ve got it down so you should have no problems finding your man. :)

sofia September 11, 2011 at 3:17 pm

oh lordy, i don’t think you’ll have a problem winning him over with these brownies. and i think you’re awesomely quirky and cool, and he will too.

Emily @ Perfection Isn't Happy September 11, 2011 at 3:20 pm

I love this post…too cute! I found myself watching ‘Dance Moms’ last Monday when I had Labor Day off. I also kind of like ‘Toddlers and Tiaras’…mostly because I love to criticize the moms’ poor parental choices.

alana {at} the food September 11, 2011 at 3:32 pm

i once knew of someone named Jack Offman. mm hmm, even slightly worse than Jack Goff

Hillary September 11, 2011 at 3:44 pm

This entire post made me happy. I can actually imagine you showing it to your “future man friend” and having a great laugh over it (preferably while eating a batch of these brownies).

Oh, and I’ve already told Nick that I reserve the right to name all of our future children. Partly because I’ll be carrying them for nine months. Mostly because he wants to name our children things like “Emers.” Yes, really.

dana September 11, 2011 at 4:32 pm

love this post. love this recipe. love you.

the man who will have you will be one lucky guy, and that’s the truth.

Averie @ Love Veggies and Yoga September 11, 2011 at 4:46 pm


Marshmallow cream, brownies, rice krispie treats, PB…all rolled into one?! This is my kinda recipe!!!!

mammaeverythingtarin September 11, 2011 at 5:41 pm

…and you forgot to tell him he would have to put up with an embarrassing mother-inlaw! You deserve the best and unfortunately sometimes the “best” is hard to get so we must wait patiently while living life to the fullest until the “best” arrives.

MirandaK @ Miranda's Munchies September 11, 2011 at 6:15 pm

I completely understand your love of Grease! Like, say for example someone uses the word ‘hickey’ I can’t help by following it up with “a hickey from kenickie is like a hallmark card…”
It’s a little embarrassing. But not to me. Only to the people around me. I know you understand…

Lindsay @ Lindsay's List September 11, 2011 at 7:11 pm

Holly, are you open to moving down to NC?? I have a great guy for you! ;)

amanda September 11, 2011 at 8:53 pm

haha. holly, i hate to tell you this…but i think i am your perfect man. mate? um…

but like for real, yo. it’s like you were speaking right to me. let’s just hang out, sing grease songs at the top of our lungs and troll for men, already! {i sing a mean rendition of cool rider…and have some sweet dance moves to go along with it}

any guy would be lucky to have you! it’s not every day a girl gives permission to wear hypercolor tees, ya know?

Lara September 11, 2011 at 9:35 pm

Oh, I love you. I can’t wait to meet Mr. Everythingtarian, either.

Lara September 11, 2011 at 9:36 pm

P.S. I love the name Jack too, and I’ve already named my kids…assuming we have girls.

Laura @ Sprint 2 the Table September 11, 2011 at 9:43 pm

Screw the man-friend. Bring me these marshmallow treats. I’ll trade you for beers and getting physical, Atlanta-style (which means it’ll be in really humid weather).

Shannon [Tropical Eats] September 11, 2011 at 10:28 pm

ok you are amazing.

that is all.


Lauren September 11, 2011 at 10:59 pm

Holly Crap (see what I did there?!).. you are amazing and those look to die for!!! I’ll be making those for my “future man friend” too, except they will be gluten free :)

Amy B @ Second City Randomness September 12, 2011 at 5:59 am

I’m mean, too. But I like to think of it as testing their limits. As in, if they continue to let me be mean, we’ve got problems. Grow a pair and throw that shiz back. Thanks.

And yes, baked goods are my best weapon. For many things. Nicely done, Holly. :)

Jecka September 12, 2011 at 6:15 am

This post cracked me up! I don’t see how any man can pass you up!

Madeline - Greens and Jeans September 12, 2011 at 7:23 am

We all know the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. That is, if they can put up with our car sing alongs…

brandi September 12, 2011 at 8:00 am

:) i love this holly!

KaraHadley September 12, 2011 at 10:23 am

Your future man friend is going to be very lucky.
When I was trying to woo my current boyfriend I thought I should impress him by cussing a lot and drinking his whiskey. For weeks I talked like a salty pirate and smelled like a drunk old man. Sometimes that approach works.

Megan (Braise the Roof) September 12, 2011 at 2:11 pm

Tell you what, if you bring a batch of those down to Chicago I will totally be your beard. And I’m a good spooner. And don’t worry, my name doesn’t really rhyme with anything, so unless you were planning on naming your daughter Carly (um, Carly Simonson…you can’t do that to a kid) we’re all good.

Casey @ Pocket Full of Sunshine September 12, 2011 at 2:25 pm

Those look so, so yummy! Your future man friend is a lucky one!

Caryn September 12, 2011 at 2:40 pm

Those brownies look amazing!! And please, as a Dallasite, I hope you don’t think Big, Rich Texas is truly representative of our city — yet it is wonderful TV!

julie September 12, 2011 at 7:55 pm

my younger brother’s name is jack. if you marry him he’ll probably be cool with you naming your kids after him, and then we could be sisters. he doesn’t wear converse well because he’s 6’8 and they don’t make converse in size 17s hahahahaha

Carrie @ Carrie Runs Goofy September 13, 2011 at 8:58 am

My husband was wearing a pair of beat-up maroon Converse the night we met. Seven years later I won’t let him toss them despite they’re being more hole than shoe at this point. They, along with his awesome hair, were the first things I noticed about him :-)

Liz @ Southern Charm September 13, 2011 at 2:35 pm

I absolutely love this post. You killed it my friend :)

Oh yea, and I can’t wait to try those crack brownies!!

Pure2raw twins September 13, 2011 at 7:48 pm

LOVE this letter! I am in market for a guy, haha I should work on my letter ;)

and these brownies sound great!


janetha September 14, 2011 at 1:02 pm

DUDETTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank god most of your posts have been guest posts and i didn’t have too much holly time that i missed. phew. Dude, whatever guy bags you is a lucky fella!!!!

Megan (The Runner's Kitchen) September 15, 2011 at 1:53 pm

Love this post! And I love the term man-friend :)

Ummm these brownies look INSANE. And I just happen to have a box of rice krispies treats on top of my fridge, hmm.

Mackenzie @ Whatever, Gatsby September 17, 2011 at 10:30 pm

so many smiles over this post! my face hurts! you are too sweet, my fellow curly headed friend! um. get your butt on a plane to boston soon, pleeeeease?!

Linda September 20, 2011 at 11:31 pm

I LOVE this!!! :D Any man would be lucky to have you!
You had me at BROWNIES!

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