So…I am not a lawyer by any means, but I like to think I know a little something about evidence.
More specifically, evidence that proves I am a 70-year-old lady at heart.
Order in the court, order in the court!
I call The Healthy Everythingtarian to the stand to make her case…
First things first judge, you know a lady is old when the winter weather is shaking her osteoporotic bones. Okay, so maybe I don’t have osteoporosis, but when it goes from 50 to 30 degrees with snow overnight, I would rather be inside quilting and watching The Young and the Restless.
E-mailing, Twittering, Facebooking, IMing, GChatting, texting…I much prefer the way they did in the olden days. A good ol’ handwritten letter via the Pony Express US Postal Service…
Back to the trial…and what 70-year-old doesn’t like smooshy baby food?
I like it. A lot. A lot, a lot.
1/3 cup oats
2/3 cup water
pinch of salt
1/3 cup canned pumpkin
drizzle of agave
cinnamon, nutmeg + ginger
1 spoonful almond butter
sprinkle of dried cranberries
1 crumbled choco pumpkin cookie
I forgot to mention I was up at 8am on a Saturday. That may not solidify 70-year-old status, but it definitely helps the case, no?
In addition, I spent the day working. Although I am a 70-year-old at heart judge, I am still trapped in a 24-year-old body, which means I still have to clean, freelance writing, drink coffee like its my job, catch up on People and eat some more (my metabolism hasn’t slowed down that much yet)…
After lunch, I had the requisite 2nd cup of tea for the day while packing my 2nd lunch, to be consumed at my part-time job…
Judge, how can a 70-year-old lady bear to do anything more after she has been on her feet for four hours? It took all my 24-year-old energy (whatever is left of it) to haul ace to the gym to complete a workout.
Yes, I may have done 80 minutes on the treadmill (60 minutes of 5-minute alternating intervals of walking + running, followed by a 20 minute cooldown walk), but that was only because the Hallmark Channel was playing “Mrs. Miracle,” starring my friend Doris Roberts. How can an old lady resist a good seasonal romantic movie? She can’t. I can’t.
When I got home, I wanted breakfast for dinner…Perkins-style.
That would be a lovely breakfast burrito made with: 1 Sunshine Breakfast patty, 2 eggs, 1/2 cup peppers, salt + sprouted wheat tortilla. Twas’ delicious.
Judge’s verdict? Guilty…on all charges!
I sentence you to a 3rd cup of tea, nice hot bath and 10:30pm bedtime. You’ve had quite enough excitement for one day.