There are many reasons why I could legitimately, in theory, be called a grandma.
- If I had it my way, I’d be in bed by 9:30pm every night.
- I never miss birthdays.
- Most nights, I would prefer to drink tea, read a book and fall asleep to the sounds of Wheel of Fortune. Yes, Wheel of Fortune is on at 6:30pm in my timezone. Draw your own conclusions.
- One day, I want a garden to spend my elderly days tending it with the utmost love and affection.
- Benefiber is my friend.
However, out of the many reasons why I should look more like a 70-year-old lady with saggy skin, achy hips and a subscription to The Quilter magazine, there is one that reigns supreme: my horrible, borderline Alzheimer’s-esque memory.
In short, I remember things that don’t matter and completely forget things that do.
For example, I did not forget one single ingredient in my Banana Split Overnight Oats. In fact, the finished product was exactly how I imagined it would be: luscious, thick and delicious.
1/2 cup rolled oats
1/2 cup vanilla Greek yogurt
1/2 cup organic skim milk
1 T cocoa powder
~ soaked overnight ~
1/2 sliced naner
1/2 cup sliced strawberries
1 crumbled Dark Chocolate Muffin
It was even better once I messed it all up and downed it with two cups of coffee + milk…
I may have remembered to put every ingredient in my breakfast, but I forgot to lock the door to my apartment when I left this morning. Luckily, I live in a safe neighborhood and everything was fine, but come on Holly Grandma – would remembering something of logical life importance kill you?
Don’t answer that. I am 70-years-old after all…I can’t joke about things like that.
Per May of Positivity Month, I also said I would include one Nugget of Positivity in every post for the rest of the month. So far, I am 2 for 6. If I was a baseball player, I could win a batting title with a .333 average. But I’m not. I’m a food blogger. A .333 average is paltry, at best.
In other words, I owe you all four nuggets:
Nugget of Positivity #1: I may have found a new fave yog mess concoction today when I mixed up 1/2 cup 2% plain Greek yog, 1 T strawberry jelly + 1 crumbled Dark Chocolate Muffin.
Nugget of Positivity #2: Taking a break from work and eating a slice of homemade banana bread (thanks Ilsa!) while reading People.com for the latest celebrity updates. Mental rejuvenation.
Nugget of Positivity #3: When I take the time to prepare meals on Sundays, it never ever fails to make my life so much easier eating-wise the rest of the week. Whipping up Caitlin’s Flax-Encrusted Sweet Potato Balls yesterday made for the easiest, on-the-go lunch alongside carrots + mustard (for dippage).
Nugget of Positivity #4: I ran 10.5 miles (with a post-run 1 mile cool down walk) after work with my friend Brett. It wasn’t the best-feeling run, but with the help of Brett, I did it. We did it. In about a 10:00/mile pace to be exact.
When I got home, I devoured a bit of this…
Then, I stretched for a good 10 minutes before replenishing my muscle stores with a protein-packed veggie egg scramble + two slices of Ezekiel toast…
I topped off the meal with lots of water and a POM mocktail…
And then my old lady body decided it just can’t handle 10.5 miles like it used to.
I’m currently laying in bed with the worst bout of nauseousness I have perhaps ever had. Mind you, I am a drama queen, so take this statement with a grain of salt, but something ain’t sitting right in G’ma Everythingtarian’s belly.
Like a true woman of the ages (like the real G’ma Everythingtarian herself), I am trying to handle the situation with class. I’ve tied my hair in a mock-French chignon, wrapped myself in a fluffy robe, crawled in bed and applied a thin layer of Vaseline all over my face to fight those dastardly wrinkles.
I feel like something is off however…
Yes, I’m definitely forgetting something…
Ahhh yes – underwear!