G’ma Everythingtarian

by Holly on May 17, 2010

in breakfast,dinner,lunch,positivity,silliness

There are many reasons why I could legitimately, in theory, be called a grandma.

  • If I had it my way, I’d be in bed by 9:30pm every night.
  • I never miss birthdays.
  • Most nights, I would prefer to drink tea, read a book and fall asleep to the sounds of Wheel of Fortune. Yes, Wheel of Fortune is on at 6:30pm in my timezone. Draw your own conclusions.
  • One day, I want a garden to spend my elderly days tending it with the utmost love and affection.
  • Benefiber is my friend.

However, out of the many reasons why I should look more like a 70-year-old lady with saggy skin, achy hips and a subscription to The Quilter magazine, there is one that reigns supreme: my horrible, borderline Alzheimer’s-esque memory.

In short, I remember things that don’t matter and completely forget things that do.

For example, I did not forget one single ingredient in my Banana Split Overnight Oats. In fact, the finished product was exactly how I imagined it would be: luscious, thick and delicious.

1/2 cup rolled oats
1/2 cup vanilla Greek yogurt
1/2 cup organic skim milk
1 T cocoa powder

~ soaked overnight ~

1/2 sliced naner
1/2 cup sliced strawberries
1 crumbled Dark Chocolate Muffin

It was even better once I messed it all up and downed it with two cups of coffee + milk…

I may have remembered to put every ingredient in my breakfast, but I forgot to lock the door to my apartment when I left this morning. Luckily, I live in a safe neighborhood and everything was fine, but come on Holly Grandma – would remembering something of logical life importance kill you?

Don’t answer that. I am 70-years-old after all…I can’t joke about things like that.

Per May of Positivity Month, I also said I would include one Nugget of Positivity in every post for the rest of the month. So far, I am 2 for 6. If I was a baseball player, I could win a batting title with a .333 average. But I’m not. I’m a food blogger. A .333 average is paltry, at best.

In other words, I owe you all four nuggets:

Nugget of Positivity #1: I may have found a new fave yog mess concoction today when I mixed up 1/2 cup 2% plain Greek yog, 1 T strawberry jelly + 1 crumbled Dark Chocolate Muffin.

Nugget of Positivity #2: Taking a break from work and eating a slice of homemade banana bread (thanks Ilsa!) while reading People.com for the latest celebrity updates. Mental rejuvenation.

Nugget of Positivity #3: When I take the time to prepare meals on Sundays, it never ever fails to make my life so much easier eating-wise the rest of the week. Whipping up Caitlin’s Flax-Encrusted Sweet Potato Balls yesterday made for the easiest, on-the-go lunch alongside carrots + mustard (for dippage).

Nugget of Positivity #4: I ran 10.5 miles (with a post-run 1 mile cool down walk) after work with my friend Brett. It wasn’t the best-feeling run, but with the help of Brett, I did it. We did it. In about a 10:00/mile pace to be exact.

When I got home, I devoured a bit of this…

Then, I stretched for a good 10 minutes before replenishing my muscle stores with a protein-packed veggie egg scramble + two slices of Ezekiel toast

I topped off the meal with lots of water and a POM mocktail…

And then my old lady body decided it just can’t handle 10.5 miles like it used to.

I’m currently laying in bed with the worst bout of nauseousness I have perhaps ever had. Mind you, I am a drama queen, so take this statement with a grain of salt, but something ain’t sitting right in G’ma Everythingtarian’s belly.

Like a true woman of the ages (like the real G’ma Everythingtarian herself), I am trying to handle the situation with class. I’ve tied my hair in a mock-French chignon, wrapped myself in a fluffy robe, crawled in bed and applied a thin layer of Vaseline all over my face to fight those dastardly wrinkles.

I feel like something is off however…

Hmmm…

Yes, I’m definitely forgetting something…

Ahhh yes – underwear!

{ 49 comments }

janetha May 17, 2010 at 10:24 pm

bwahaha im a wheel watcher! i watched it a few hours ago, no lie. this post was a creepy mirror image of myself, as i don’t remember a dang thing. ever. luckily i have a camera or i’d be horrible at blogging about what i ate/workouts/etc.

love youuu

Kristie May 17, 2010 at 10:32 pm

I am so with you on going to bed by 9:30pm every night if I had my way! Remembering birthdays, however, is a whole other thing. Not so good at that one ;).

Jennifer May 17, 2010 at 10:44 pm

Hahaha oh girl I love reading your blog! You never fail to crack me up! Anyways, I just wanted you to know that those oats are dreammmmy, as in I will be dreaming about them tonight!

Laura May 17, 2010 at 10:46 pm

I would be in bed by 9.30pm every night too if I could. I totally have borderline alzheimers and live in constant fear that I have left my door unlocked. On two occasions I have been getting ready to go to work in the morning and haven’t been able to find my keys, then found them in the lock…… on the OUTSIDE of the door!!!!

Ilana May 17, 2010 at 10:49 pm

baha…i am an old lady and always forget underwear too!

Erica May 17, 2010 at 11:54 pm

hahahahahahaha- again, you never fail to crack me up. Nice job on the run! Even if it wasn’t your best- 10.5 miles after work? Major accomplishment. What a breakfast- your day must have felt rocking after that bad boy. Prepping meals ahead of time is pretty much the only way I make it through the week. I haven’t tried that recipe from Caitlin but it looks total yum.

claire May 17, 2010 at 11:56 pm

Too good lady! I tend to make a habit of lounging in my robe with my hair up in a high bun (and no underwear…). I feel ya on many of the old g’ma qualities…can’t help it! Running 10.5 miles though, doubt too many can still do that! The eats all look delicious of course too!

Mama Pea May 18, 2010 at 1:07 am

You ran 10 miles?! I can’t even type the words “10 Miles” without taking a nap. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…..

Love you Grammy!

Jessica @ How Sweet It Is May 18, 2010 at 5:33 am

I am a granny myself. 9pm bedtimes, early bird special dinners at 5, old people music…

Lauren May 18, 2010 at 5:51 am

I definitely equate myself to the grandmother level on most days. No shame! I love grandma’s!

I am dying to make those Overnight Oats again. By far, the best I have ever had! :)

Wow girl, 11 miles!!!! You’re on fire with this running thing. Good for you! :)

Matt May 18, 2010 at 6:05 am

Nice job on the 10.5 miles :)

Maya May 18, 2010 at 6:14 am

I love all your applications of dark chocolate muffin. Mmmm. Great job on the run, Grandma (and that is a phrase I never say to my real Grandma, so there!)

Katrina May 18, 2010 at 6:40 am

You are too funny :D! I forget everything too and I often feel like a grandma!!

Crunchy Granola Gal May 18, 2010 at 6:57 am

uh, who needs underwear anyway?! seriously now. and how many seventy year old grandmas can run 10.5 miles?

this post cracks me up. that’s all.

happy tuesday!

Sarah (Enjoying One Meal at a Time) May 18, 2010 at 7:04 am

Haha. We all have our molments! My constant one is the parking break. I also cheak a handful of times to make sure I released it once I start the car. Nervous habit from when I was learning to drive!

Susan May 18, 2010 at 7:55 am

I love benefibre – I put it in everything!

I really am an old lady. I eat dinner at 4:30 and like to knit ;) Hope you woke up feeling better today!! xo

Whit May 18, 2010 at 8:01 am

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

You make me laugh, lady.

10.5 miles??? Nothing to sneeze at. I haven’t gotten over 3 in the last five months myself.

brandi May 18, 2010 at 8:23 am

great job on the run, girl! :) I’ve never run more than 7!!!

‘I remember things that don’t matter and completely forget things that do” – We are the same person. :) And People.com is a DAILY addiction of mine. Love ridiculous celebrity stuff.

mary ann May 18, 2010 at 8:32 am

“In short, I remember things that don’t matter and completely forget things that do.”
I must admit, this makes me really second guess my priorities as remembering the banana split oats recipe matters. matters a lot. I’d say youre doin just fine, Hol.
PS: my g-ma nature has me in bed, dentures asoaking, skin/wrinkles casteoiled by 8 (i actually dont really know what castor oil is, but my gma is known to throw that saying around like a lasso)not to mention my Grammy both make some kickarse oatmeal cookies AND we go to costco to share the same case of Ensure-which both of us hate yet are both recommended to drink as prescribed by our docs. Just sayin…
MA
lilpauladean.wordpress.com

mary ann May 18, 2010 at 8:48 am

PS: I swear Brandi and I referred to the same quote at the same time despite the time on the comment. Afterall, I am a grandma who is using a library computer and types an average 2 letters per minute-on a good day, or at least if ive taken my morning nap.
PSS: Maybe its just the grandma in me, but Im started to worry about my love for your blog and your “gasmic” food porn. I feel like I “gasm” of the food nature more than I did when grandpa was courting me. I feel dirty. I need t go back to finishing school and perhaps you need to be arrested for an X rated blog. Heavens what if my grandchildren were to see these images! The shame, i tell you

Kristin @ Iowa Girl Eats May 18, 2010 at 8:52 am

DANG GIRL – what a run – nice job!!!!!

That banana bread looks heavenly. I might let the bananas on my counter turn brown just so I can some this weekend!!

Kristin (Salty Tooth) May 18, 2010 at 9:04 am

Wow, 10.5 miles on a Monday night. Impressive! You are a much better person than I. :)

Maura May 18, 2010 at 9:35 am

Holly your posts never cease to make me giggle! I love this post because I’m totally a grandma too. Reasons why: 1) I actually went to bed at 9PM last night. 2) Ate dinner at 5…yes, early bird special and 3) I’m obsessed with Jeopardy (which comes on right after WOF I might add). I so ROCKED the Chemistry portion…hell yes people, its the little things.

Sarah (Running to Slow Things Down) May 18, 2010 at 9:40 am

You just explained ME!

I’ve always said I should be called a grandma, because I would love to be in bed by 9:30 every night, I do crossword puzzles and I enjoy watching Jeopardy. :mrgreen:

(p.s. your banana bread looks awesome! :D )

samantha May 18, 2010 at 10:09 am

fluffy bathrobes make EVERYTHING better. i put mine on when i get home from work. no lies. also, i put aquaphor on my face at night….it is a wonder drug!

i wish wish wish i could go to bed earlier – i’m a midnight – 1am gal, and it makes waking up rull difficult.

another positive? grandma’s are cute. so there.

Madeline - Greens and Jeans May 18, 2010 at 11:04 am

Oh man, I am such a grandma. I actually have to drink coffee late in the afternoon on night’s John stays over so I don’t fall asleep at my normal 9:30 bed time… Guess what? I get to see you SO soon!

lo May 18, 2010 at 11:29 am

ur too funny! i forget things all the time too! Like forgetting yesterday was Monday and i had class…whoops.

love u girlie!

xoxo
lolo

Danica May 18, 2010 at 11:46 am

hahaha! always love your posts girl! its no wonder you’re wanting to go to bed early, 10 miles is tiring! ps. i’d love if you came by my new blog!! and smuckers naturals is the absolute best pb right??

Therese May 18, 2010 at 11:49 am

Goind commando??? GASP!

The other day I realized my underwear was on inside out…I left it that way.

It has been way to long since I made overnight oats…and since I’ve stayed up for the 10 pm news. I am with you on the old lady biznass.

Katherine May 18, 2010 at 12:58 pm

I’m an early bird too. Gma’s are the best so no shame if you become one.

Your nuggets are great too; here is mine: free haagen daz today if there is one close to you (I put their link on my site if you want to find one)

Carbzilla May 18, 2010 at 1:13 pm

OMG you are so funny. I was like check, check, and Oh Phew I don’t watch Wheel of Fortune.

I’m currently (suddenly) unemployed and sick so I’m all about the bathrobe but without the fancy chignon. Yes, I said fancy.

You might be tickled to know I left the keys in the front door for hours the other day. Hubby was not amused when he got home.

Sorry you’re feeling barfy – hope it’s over soon!

Ali @ Redhead Reports May 18, 2010 at 1:41 pm

Haha, I am always in bed by 9:30 also!
I want a piece of that banana bread!!!!!

Lauren (Health on the Run) May 18, 2010 at 2:07 pm

Hahaha that last line definitely elicited a loud chuckle from me! I often feel like I’m showing signs of early onset Alzheimer’s or something. Though if I had to guess, I’d say it comes from stress — and having way too many things to remember each day.

The yogurt with that dark chocolate muffin looks amazing!!!

And congrats on your run!! Sorry you felt so sick afteward, but the fact that you did it is pretty darn amazing! :)

Angharad May 18, 2010 at 2:09 pm

Girl. I ran 11 miles at the weekend and it near killed me. Nothing like the breeze that our ten miles was or the 10 miles of speedwork I did two days before it. I.Nearly.Died.
How’s that for drama?

I love cake with breakfast. A lot. In fact I may have had rhubarb coffee cake (recipe tomorrow) in my oatmeal today. Yep, I did. And there’s another slice in my work fridge right now. Love it!

Love you!

Emily (A Nutritionist Eats) May 18, 2010 at 2:29 pm

I have actually acquired the nick name “Nana”….

BroccoliHut May 18, 2010 at 4:34 pm

I also refer to myself as an “old soul”–I like teapots and early bedtimes.
Those overnight oats are legendary!

runnerforever May 18, 2010 at 4:39 pm

Your oatmeal bowl is one of the best I have seen, looks delicious and filling!

amanda May 18, 2010 at 4:59 pm

girl, if i had it my way, i too would be in bed by 9:30 every night. but alas, the ripe age of 25 keeps me from doing so. it’s very unfortunate that i have to be social and like do things. haha.

your egg scramble looks delicious!

Kailey (SnackFace) May 18, 2010 at 5:22 pm

Though we have a billion things in common, I must say we are different on the G’ma front. I love late nights AND early mornings. I usually miss birthdays. I’d like to end each night with a cocktail, dancing and some things that aren’t appropriate for the blog world. I do not have the patience for gardening/landscaping/tending to that. (Dirty Martini, however, is very keen on that. Not that that whole thing will last very long, but now I’m talking about non-public things. This is what happens when you and I don’t talk for days!) Benefiber? Don’t need it. In fact, I think I’d run out of toilet paper even faster than I already do. OH AND THE NO UNDIES. So freeing.

I have revealed too much.

LOVE YOU!!! xoxoxoxo

Katie May 18, 2010 at 5:45 pm

I’m so with you Grandma Holly. I love early bedtimes and early mornings – I think that is my most qualifying factor. I also love hot tea and baths and reading and baking cookies for guests.

Also, that yogurt mess looks so spectacular, definitely something to be positive about!

Molly May 18, 2010 at 6:27 pm

Hey Grandma ;-)

This post totally cracked me up (as per usual) but I am the SAME way. Come Friday/the weekend, I am in bed by 8 and can’t bring myself to do anything. I would rather watch hours of t.v. most nights instead of pull my life together and being social….speaking of underwear—I went to to laundry in granny’s basement and came up later to find not only my underwear on the kitchen floor which had fallen out of my basket….but a THONG!!!….which I hadn’t even worn, b/c I prefer granny panties…no joke …but had from my travels and was just washing everything in my suitcase…granny was prolly thinkin’ hmm, molly must have dropped her hair-tie. Needless to say, I was slightly mortified…until I looked up and saw her own granny panties soaking in the kitchen sink. Guess I have that to look forward to when I’m 90. P.S. Thanks to you (and Brett) I think I shall refer 13.1 miles as Half-Mary’s now too. Love it!!!…and this post. Hilarious…and yummy eats :D

Susan May 18, 2010 at 6:45 pm

Girl I am such an old lady too! And I use Vaseline on my lips and eyelids everynight!

I’ll add a nugget of positivity for you: I saw two old ladies racing each other on shoprider scooters across the supermarket parking lot today. Ballin.

mammaeverythingtarian May 18, 2010 at 6:55 pm

its funny how you are excited to post that you are old and granmaish while your mamma is trying to resent/ignore that she is old and grandmaish!!!

Evan Thomas May 18, 2010 at 7:25 pm

Haha, you’re so much more funny and healthy than my grandma. My grandma likes twinkies and moonpies. And the other one’s not much better(heavy whipping cream in coffee? why not)

Lynn @ The Actors Diet May 18, 2010 at 7:30 pm

Wheel! Of! Fortune!!!! puts me to sleep too. so do crossword puzzles, which are supposed to be stimulating.

Kate May 18, 2010 at 8:15 pm

ohohohoh! i wanna feature the banana split overnight oats in my breakfast challenge on friday! is that cool? i’ll definately link back :)

Katie May 18, 2010 at 9:52 pm

I’m a grandpa to your grandma. Let’s move to Boca, start a shuffleboard pool, and call it early retirement.

I also remember insane little details that don’t matter at all, and torment Ari with hundreds of “3.47 years ago today, we were sitting right here…” If only that were a career asset.

Kacy May 19, 2010 at 7:25 am

Bahaha! I love it! I’m the same way. I freak out every morning wondering if I locked my door, turned off the straightener/oven/lights. It kills me.

I hope your tum is bettah!

Jessica May 19, 2010 at 12:29 pm

Ahahahahahha I adore you more than you’d ever know
miss holly! that last little tidbit LEGIT made
me laugh out loud :)

You may have gma tendencies… but you’re still a hot young thang who likes to dance with friends and pound mugs of brew– sooo you’re in the clear! HAHA

That bowl of overnight oats must be re-created
by moi asap, it sounds and looks divine! I just need chocolate muffins now ah! where to find them? where to?! hahah love youuu! xoxoo

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