There is this game I often play with myself. Just myself. Much to Mama Everythingtarian’s chagrin, I’m kind of an expert. I mean, sometimes I don’t even realize I’m playing it – that’s how crazy awesome I am at it.
Do you want to play it with me?
It’s called the “If Only Game.”
Alright, I’ll go first…I am the reigning champion and all.
If only I could lose those last five pounds, then I would be happy.
Do you get it? Perhaps another example would do…
If only I had a boyfriend, then I wouldn’t feel so lonely or unlovable and everything would be so much better in my life.
Tell me you’re catching my drift.
If only I had a picnic basket and had eaten this outside, it would have been the perfect lunch.
Really, this game can be about anything. That’s the true beauty of it.
Whether it’s weight, love lives, children, work, stress, family, food or exercise, the “If Only Game” is truly the only fun one can have where anything and everything is fair game.
If only I had the brains of Christiane Amanpour, the body of Gisele Bundchen, the face of Natalie Portman, the personality of Kristin Wiig, the wallet of Oprah Winfrey and the heart of Wangari Maathai, I would never have to worry about what to eat for lunch because life would be perfect.
The “If Only Game” provides limitless possibilities.
If only Diet Coke and pretzels were food groups, my life would be so much easier.
Sometimes the “If Only Game” can ring true.
I mean, my life WOULD be a lot easier if Diet Coke and pretzels were legitimate food groups.
Many times however, the “if onlies” are blatant falsehoods. Let’s be real, even if I was superhuman mix of Christiane, Gisele, Natalie, Kristin, Oprah and Wangari, my life would not be perfect. People would expect me to be smart, in-shape, pretty, funny, giving and nice all the time.
Quite frankly, I don’t think I could handle that.
If only life were a Justin’s Maple Almond Butter + maple jelly roll-up, it would be tasty all the time.
Okay, that one’s definitely true.
But then again…we wouldn’t appreciate the taste of it as much, would we?
If only someone would offer to pay me to be a full-time writer, I wouldn’t have to worry about what to do with my future, where I am going to go or what I am going to do.
All I would have to worry about is egg scrambles.
Egg scrambles are a completely delicious food worthy of such attention.
Olive oil, garlic, spinach, cherry tomatoes, 2 eggs, a pinch of salt + mild white cheddar cheese.
What more could you want?
If only the act of watching movies also simultaneously finished my writing projects for me, then life really would be easy peasy pie.
Losing the last five, finding love, picnic lunches, being superwoman, reorganizing the food pyramid, tastiness, full-time writing, having movies write your projects for you.
If only I lived in a dream world, then maybe life would be that easy.
But it’s not.
And that’s the fun of it.