I’ve only worked out twice this week. A 40-minute elliptical session and a 60-minute yoga flow.
I’m feeding my body junk. i.e.: Yesterday, I ate puppy chow for lunch and beer cheese dip + sugar cookies for dinner.
I haven’t thought about those End of 2009 goals in a loooong time. What were they again?
I found my first gray hair today. Four of them. On the crown of my head. Salt n’ Pepa-style.
I haven’t worn make-up in three weeks. I am not vain and need to wear it everyday…it’s merely one more aspect of the fact I am being lazy and not keeping myself together like I should.
In other words…I feel a little something like this:
And no one wants that.
The past couple weeks have been so meh in fact, I was hesitant to even post VLOG #3. Why you ask?
After I taped the video, I watched it back and saw a pale-faced zit popper channeling the frizz-mop stylings of the 1980’s attempting lamely to make a funny video. All I could do was point out the negative. To top it off, I then wondered why I would finally give a tour of my apartment when it looked like a shithole.
You see…I’ve always been a classic case of “care too much about what others think.” Call it people pleasing, call it low self-esteem – call it whatever you want. I’ve gotten a lot better about it, but once in awhile, I find myself falling into that trap of paranoia, wondering what other people are going to think. They are going to think I am so gross with that zit! Ahhh, look how pale and ugly I am! And if I’m not funny – my constant, reliable friend – people are going to think I’m stupid.
Don’t try and deny it. We’ve all been there.
And ya know what?
I have to remind myself of Sir William’s infamous advice, “To thine own self be true.” And it is true.
At the end of the day, if people don’t like me (ALL OF ME!), then why would I want to be friends with them anyways? We all have our faults, and none of us is perfect – no matter how much we strive to be. Loving me means loving my occasional zit. Appreciating me means appreciating the unfunny parts of me. Accepting me means accepting the fact that somedays, I can’t do a dayum thing about my crazy, curly hair. And I need to remind myself of this EVERY DAY.
So, here I am in all my unperfect glory. Enjoy.
And for the record, I am calling this week a crapshoot. Sometimes, a new week IS the perfect time for a fresh start.
What “imperfect” things about you have you grown to love or appreciate? I used to hate my hair but now appreciate how unique it is!