Imperfection is Perfection

by Holly on December 12, 2009

in seriousness,VLOG

I’ve only worked out twice this week. A 40-minute elliptical session and a 60-minute yoga flow.

I’m feeding my body junk. i.e.: Yesterday, I ate puppy chow for lunch and beer cheese dip + sugar cookies for dinner.

I haven’t thought about those End of 2009 goals in a loooong time. What were they again?

I found my first gray hair today.  Four of them. On the crown of my head.  Salt n’ Pepa-style.

I haven’t worn make-up in three weeks. I am not vain and need to wear it everyday…it’s merely one more aspect of the fact I am being lazy and not keeping myself together like I should.

In other words…I feel a little something like this:

britney-starbucks-3 And no one wants that.

The past couple weeks have been so meh in fact, I was hesitant to even post VLOG #3.  Why you ask?

After I taped the video, I watched it back and saw a pale-faced zit popper channeling the frizz-mop stylings of the 1980’s attempting lamely to make a funny video.  All I could do was point out the negative. To top it off, I then wondered why I would finally give a tour of my apartment when it looked like a shithole.

You see…I’ve always been a classic case of “care too much about what others think.”  Call it people pleasing, call it low self-esteem – call it whatever you want.  I’ve gotten a lot better about it, but once in awhile, I find myself falling into that trap of paranoia, wondering what other people are going to think.  They are going to think I am so gross with that zit!  Ahhh, look how pale and ugly I am!  And if I’m not funny – my constant, reliable friend – people are going to think I’m stupid.

Don’t try and deny it.  We’ve all been there.

And ya know what?

Eff it.

I have to remind myself of Sir William’s infamous advice, “To thine own self be true.” And it is true.

At the end of the day, if people don’t like me (ALL OF ME!), then why would I want to be friends with them anyways?  We all have our faults, and none of us is perfect – no matter how much we strive to be.  Loving me means loving my occasional zit. Appreciating me means appreciating the unfunny parts of me.  Accepting me means accepting the fact that somedays, I can’t do a dayum thing about my crazy, curly hair.  And I need to remind myself of this EVERY DAY.

So, here I am in all my unperfect glory.  Enjoy.

And for the record, I am calling this week a crapshoot.  Sometimes, a new week IS the perfect time for a fresh start.

What “imperfect” things about you have you grown to love or appreciate? I used to hate my hair but now appreciate how unique it is!


Anna @ Newlywed, Newly Veg December 14, 2009 at 8:40 am

LOL…I definitely have days when I feel like BritBrit, circa 2007. Good times.

Nicole December 14, 2009 at 8:40 am

I’m totally supposed to be working on my paper right now, but instead I chose to read and watch your blog. I think you are a beautiful person in and out, and I don’t know what you are talking about with that zit. I didn’t even see one. I love your home, and that you have a lot of the items that you picked up while traveling. Our house is slowing accumulating things like that too. I’m posting Rabat later today. I think you will like the blankie that I picked up there!! I just have to figure out where to put it now.

My hair for sure. I have learned to embrace it. I have even met some curly hair fetish guys. Crazy, but true. Maybe you will meet one someday!!! Steve would not be one of those guys. He would like me to shave my head so it didn’t make his face itch when hugging and cuddling.

Rebecca December 14, 2009 at 9:00 am

In a total non-lesbian way- I think you’re beautiful!! :-) hehe!! I’m in fifth grade obviously.

Megan (The Runner's Kitchen) December 14, 2009 at 9:52 am

This post made my day. I, too, worry too much about what people think about me. I guess I really want to be liked, but you’re so right when you say that the people who love you will just have to love ALL of you.

Here’s to Monday mornings and a new start!

p.s. I would gladly trade my limp brown locks for your curly ones!

Jordan December 14, 2009 at 9:55 am

You have an empathizer in me :)
What counts for a lot is how self-aware you are and how long (or short) you let it go on for before you say ‘eff it!’
You are a wonderful person and deserve the best!

Cindy December 14, 2009 at 10:22 am

Hol, I so love your videos !

Thanks for sharing YOU with us all! WHO is perfect? it’s a facade! honesty is perfect!

You’re a doll and I luv ya! and I hope the travel channel DOES call you! THEY TOTALLY SHOULD!


Low December 14, 2009 at 1:24 pm

Honey! Don’t you worry about those gray hairs. I found my first one before graduating high school Now they be all over the place, but the majority of my hair is still brown and no one has ever noticed.

Also, I totally fall into the worrying what other people think trap. Thank you so much for keeping it real.

And, tear, I cannot view your vlog for some reason. It makes me a sad, sad girl. Love ya anyways!!

Bekah December 14, 2009 at 3:02 pm

Hahahaha oh Holly, this is the first vlog I’ve watched/seen of yours, and you’re so funny!

For the record (not to quote a recent post of yours or anything) your glasssesss are mega hot- and you have that whole Tina Fey with crazy curls thing going for you. :)

My fave part- the end when you “ended” with your Glee obsession. Which, somehow I always end up talking about at the end of a blog post too. Like oh what to say? GLLEEEE. I want to be Emma for maybe two years of my next life (hello Mr. Shew!) Quinn for maybe 4, just so I could experience alll of Puck, well ya know. And then Rachel for a year, just so I could don knee high socks and belt show tunes on a daily basis.

Liz December 14, 2009 at 3:15 pm

i LOVE your hair. I have always wanted curly hair and have gone through horrible perms as a result.
I’m starting to embrace my cellulite because no matter how hard I work out or how skinny I am it is still there. It helps to call it genetic, but I guess it’s just mine. Trying to OWN my cellulite it hard, but i’m workin’ on it.

erinbee. December 14, 2009 at 10:53 pm

homegirl. that fridge is not okay.
also. ‘so. let it be.’ you dah best.

Whit December 15, 2009 at 9:14 am

You are pretty much awesome. That’s all.

Kailey (SnackFace) December 15, 2009 at 1:22 pm

Nnnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is torture! I’m at work and can’t watch the love of my life’s vid! Such an upset! I will watch when I’m home next week.

So I just returned from some quality girl time and feel much better. Thanks for listening to me this morning. It really means so much to me.

LOVE YOU!!!! You are perf :)

Jill December 15, 2009 at 1:30 pm

I just have to say that every time you do a video it has me cracking up. You are so f-ing funny!

Michal December 16, 2009 at 2:24 pm

Love the video!
I relate to this post 100% lately with my diet being off and a lack of fun workouts i have just been feeling meh.

Lets hope we can get back on track soon :)

Paula December 16, 2009 at 10:32 pm

Ha! Your video cracked me up.

glidingcalm December 17, 2009 at 11:25 am

you are so fun! i would love to have you has a roomie. i bet you’d be so lax and amazing. i mean amazing people arent. ness amazing roomies……but you seem like such a fun olda sista kinda friend roomie ya know?! maybe for meeeeeeeeeeee.

i want to try coconut bliss.

my dad is so sensitive to aromas, so i’ve gotz no cinn candles up in my bizness. ( tear!!)

im working on your packageeeeeeee.

p.s. what kind of chap do you use?! lol!

Lindsay @ Summit Sandwiches December 18, 2010 at 12:33 pm

You are so freaking hilarious. I hope the Travel Channel does call…you’d be way more fun to watch than Samantha Brown anyway!

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