Klassy (With a K)

by Holly on September 19, 2010

in breakfast,dinner,friends,snacks,Wisconsin

Sometimes, it doesn’t matter how classy you start your weekend.

You can enjoy a delightful bowl of Scallop Linguine bathed in a light tomato cream sauce…

You can even top it off with a posh glass of Pinot Noir and tiramisu for dessert.

But it won’t matter.

Some things are just bound to get klassy.

You’ll hit the open road with your friend Steph, eat some dried apricots + Three Sisters Marshmallow Oaties cereal for car snackage, sing Disney tunes at the top of your lungs and arrive to help out your other friend Ilsa with a few of her work things…

Once the work is complete, your friend will demand you meet her out for a beer.

You will oblige, order a Spotted Cow brew and for the hell of it, throw in a ginormously guac-filled veggie burger + seasoned veggies for good measure…

Then, when you least expect it, klassy will enter the room.

Literally.

He will come in the form of a 20-something male hipster and make his Johnny Weir-worthy entrance into a Wisconsin dive bar dressed in a knee-length, white faux-fur coat. You’ll take a picture with your friend Ilsa and position him in the background for obvious reasons…

Because you are about three beers down, have no shame admitting an obnoxious need to make a scene and don’t have to worry about PETA coming after you, you’ll ask him to try on said coat.

You will smile, and he will make a divalicious facial expression only Mariah Carey herself could replicate.

It will be a moment you won’t soon forget.

From there, klassy will permeate your evening

More beer…

More klassiness…

Even more beer (and Cheetos domination)…

Even more klassiness…

After innumerable glasses of beer and minutes spent bumping jams at the jukebox (i.e. Blood Swear + Tears, Spoon, Sublime and Barry White), you will end your evening in another dive bar surrounded by a wealth of monochromatically-colored, brown food…

…a.k.a. food that has been fried to perfection. This particular selection would include an array of gourmet goodies like cheese curds, onion rings, tacos, waffle fries and mini corn dogs.

You won’t forget to holler to your homeboy Jeff, who asked for a shoutout on your blog…

Then, you will pass out in your friend’s bed. You will be forced into the actual bed you’re supposed to be sleeping in. You will probably forget to brush your teeth. You will not care.

The next morning, you’ll wake up and look at the clock. It will read 9:47 am. Before you have the chance to process those three numbers, the hangover headache of all hangover headaches will suddenly start throbbing and make you want nothing more than to fall back asleep.

Knowing that’s not a possibility, you’ll need three things: Ibuprofen, water + coffee.

You and Steph will drive the 2 1/2 hours home, stopping only to get breakfast at Subway...

You will choose a flatbread sandwich with egg, pepperjack cheese, green peppers, red onion, tomato, banana peppers and spinach.

You won’t be hungry.

However, you’ll eat it because you know its the best thing for you and your unhappy stomach.

Then, stuck in uber-frustrating construction traffic, you’ll wish your body was about five years younger so that you could have weekends like this more often.

The Klassy Everythingtarian, perhaps?

Just don’t forget, that’s klassy with a K.

{ 27 comments }

VeggieGirl September 19, 2010 at 9:28 pm

You are too much fun!!!! :-D

katie September 19, 2010 at 9:31 pm

seriously- i agree w. liz.. you are too fun!!
i adore you and your adventures

Amy B @ Second City Randomness September 19, 2010 at 9:49 pm

I want that coat. Not so much to wear… but I think it’d look great as a rug in my living room. I think if I were you, I’d have randomly gone up and petted him throughout the evening. It’s quite amazing.

Madeline - Greens and Jeans September 19, 2010 at 10:58 pm

I love you. And that coat. And his cut off shorts. And the fact that I get to see you in two weeks!

Lindsay @ Summit Sandwiches September 19, 2010 at 11:39 pm

Bahahaha! This post made my day. I love to see a food blogger with klass. :) And darling, the white coat looks fabulous on you.

Crunchy Granola Gal September 19, 2010 at 11:44 pm

dude. i love that wisconsin hipsters are on par/ almost as ridiculous as brooklyn hipsters. i’m not sure which group is worse. we’ll have to conduct a longitudinal study.

Laura September 19, 2010 at 11:55 pm

Wow, what a coat!

Mama Pea September 19, 2010 at 11:56 pm

Can you come visit and be klassy with me? I will serve you cereal marshmallows for breakfast. You know not what they are? Here you go:

http://www.cerealmarshmallows.com/pictures.aspx

Phone date. Soon. Very soon.

Averie (LoveVeggiesAndYoga) September 20, 2010 at 12:51 am

“entrance into a Wisconsin dive bar dressed in a knee-length, white faux-fur coat. “–the funny this is that in my neighborhood in san diego, it’s 95% gay men. And that kind of coat is actually the NORM. Oh I could tell you some stories :)

I love the dive bar pics. It reminds me of every second of my underage drinking life from MN :)

Lauren September 20, 2010 at 5:49 am

Can I please come and hang out with you and your friends? Oh, and I can I wear that coat? :)

Love you lady!

Heather (Perspective Is Everything) September 20, 2010 at 6:08 am

Oh Holly…..Why do I love thee so?

Is it because you are possibly the love child of Anthony Bourdain and Melina Kanakaredes?

Or is it because in about 5-10 years when you have your own show on the Travel Channel called “Food and Travel with the Healthy E” I will be able to say, “i used to read her blog every day when she was a freelance writer in Wisconsin.”?

Either way…..you’re going somewhere BIG girl….and I’ll be reading all about it.
By the way, even if you don’t get that show on the Travel Channel, I keep reading no matter what :)

Maya September 20, 2010 at 6:15 am

That is one weeekend! The hangover sounds worth it if you got to wear a hipster coat. Definitely

Erica September 20, 2010 at 6:30 am

hahah- that is one sweet white coat. Where does one even buy such a coat? Good times good times. The burger looks amazingly tasty and the fried food….well fried food and beer just always end up going together ;) Hope you’re feeling refreshed on this Monday

Mel September 20, 2010 at 6:54 am

Hahaha I love it. Only Wisconsin dive bars are klassy like that. Sounds like a good time!

Angharad September 20, 2010 at 9:04 am

Oh lady! Glad you had such a klassy weekend. Gotta happen every now and then, fried food, crazy folks, beer and all. Loves.

Let’s catch up soon! xx

Katie September 20, 2010 at 9:46 am

Cute post! Hey, my mom told me eggs and toast (or flatbread) are really good for hangovers! Hope the sandwich helped a little! :)

Sami September 20, 2010 at 10:09 am

you and your friends are so much fun. i love the subway breakfast ideas! i still haven’t gotten to try one…maybe if i can pull myself from my bed 10 minutes early and hit our local shop on the way to work sometime, i’ll do a post with credit to you for convincing me to try one :) haha. glad your weekend adventures were a success with the exception of the lame construction traffic!

Jenny September 20, 2010 at 11:03 am

This weekend sounds eerily similar to my friday night. I’m pretty sure I stumbled out of the bar and into the pizza parlor next door to house a piece of pepperoni. It was all an attempt to sober up at 12 on a Friday night. (it did not work, so I feel your hangover pain) Good times though!

amanda September 20, 2010 at 11:25 am

that coat looks stunning on you. i think you shoulder consider getting one for yourself! true pimpin’ style.

amanda September 20, 2010 at 11:28 am

and by shoulder-i mean should. obvs.

Katie September 20, 2010 at 11:34 am

I just found you last night, thanks to Averie, and as a fellow Wisconsinite, I can say that this post (and a bunch of others that I read and didn’t comment on) had me cracking up and missing WI! I went to college at Madison and I love that place so much. Dive bars…how about the Up North?!?! That was my favorite place and I lived only a few blocks away. Never saw anyone with a white fur knee length coat though if I did, I would have indeed asked to try it on.

Oh my god…fried everything. Love it.

Megan (Braise the Roof) September 20, 2010 at 12:28 pm

Haha, when it comes to klassy I wish I were 5 years younger so I could recover better or wish I were 5 years older so I’d know better!

Jenna September 20, 2010 at 12:51 pm

I wasn’t feeling up to par yesterday either, definitely needed a greasy burger and fries to help that one!

I’ve yet to try the Subway breakfast. I have one about three blocks from my house, I think I need to hit it up in the am for once (I’m a frequent pm visitor, who wouldn’t be).

Kacy September 20, 2010 at 1:08 pm

Those are the best kind of nights and the worst kind of mornings. I wish I could have been there.

Naomi(onefitfoodie) September 20, 2010 at 3:47 pm

hahah omg I love your posts and that COAT!!! :)

elise September 20, 2010 at 11:49 pm

that coat is amazing. thats all.

Susan September 21, 2010 at 9:37 am

YES. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only “healthy living blogger” who likes to feature excess amounts of beer, booze and general drunken tomfoolery on her blog. This is how some weekends should be. A few crazy antics with friends instead of an early long run. Also, word on the street is that B12 is the best for hangovers! My friends are experts ;) Miss you Holllyyyy!!!!!

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