i make no sense

by Holly on May 25, 2010

in breakfast,dinner,goals,Indian,lunch,reviews

On the surface, I’m what you might call an ‘open book.’

I have no problem telling you I went skydiving hungover in Australia, because I had vomited all over a double decker party bus the night before after downing one too many tequila shots.

It took every ounce of my being (and pride) to sign the waiver saying I was indeed in ‘good health’ to skydive. I’m not proud of what I did, but it was worth it. So very worth it.

I also have no problem admitting I am about ready to bust out laughing in this picture.

Why is that weird? I was at Dachau Concentration Camp in Germany.

Any more questions?

You’ve seen me at my best…

I LOVE this dress.

And you’ve seen me at my worst…

Post-worst hangover of my life. I know I am going to regret posting that picture.

However, there are obviously A LOT of things I leave off the blog.

Breakfast isn’t usually one of them.

1 bottle DAHlicious blueberry lassi
3/4 cup frozen strawberries
1/2 banana
splash of organic skim milk
1 T brown rice protein powder

Two thumbs up on the DAHlicious Wild Maine Blueberry Indian lassi. Thick, fruity and smooth.

And a slice of PB+J toast to round it all out…

Lunch also isn’t something usually left off the blog, even when it’s as mundane as a PB+J sandwich (seriously obsessed with the Smucker’s Low Sugar Jam) and pear.

Or when I’ve had multiple lunches – that still makes the blog.

Same wrappage + accompaniments as yesterday, FYI.

Snacks make their grand appearance on the blog some days. Other days, like today, they don’t.

Most days, dinner also gets it 15 minutes of fame. Tonight, it actually DESERVES to be shown on the blog, because it was that gosh darn delicious.

That would be a spiced, warm saucepan of Zucchini Curry from one of my favorite cooking blogs, An Edible Mosaic. Faith has a way with food, photography and ethnic foods. Her heavenly-looking desserts and Arabic-inspired dishes make me drool on a weekly basis.

My lil’ portion…

In other words, it isn’t food I’m keeping off this blog (ahem, except for the two froyo bars I ate while my curry dinner was simmering.)

Because, at the end of the day, food is just food.

You probably think I’ve gone belly-up crazy for saying, “Food is just food,” on a food blog that is read by thousands of foodies my mom everyday. I mean, telling a foodie that food is just food is like telling a crack addict, “Hey, it’s just crack! You can quit,” or telling Heidi Montag, “Saline is just saline sweetheart… in your boobs or not.”

Food is a means of expression – it’s not what it is but rather what it represents.

Have you ever wanted something so badly that you’re afraid to actually say it out loud? You fear vocalizing your desire for it to the universe may actually cause it NOT to happen?

I’m talking about goals and dreams. The ones you want with every last fiber of your being; the ones you strive for with every last stretch of a Broadway-caliber jazz hand; and the ones you yearn to soak up like a piece of perfectly crusty bread dipped lovingly in Italian olive oil.

Sometimes I find it easier to keep these desires tucked away in the safe lockbox that is my crazy mind and continue on with my blissful, daydreaming ways.

And that’s why some things are left off the blog.

I realize this post makes no sense.

And I’m okay with it.

Nobody said being an open book actually had to.

{ 30 comments }

glidingcalm May 25, 2010 at 9:37 pm

love youuuu

Lynn @ The Actors Diet May 25, 2010 at 9:43 pm

it makes perfect sense. nuff said.

Kailey (SnackFace) May 25, 2010 at 10:25 pm

Oh I love you so much. You know, for the longest time I’ve felt that I should keep my dreams under wraps. But then ( I know this may sound ridiculous) I started reading a lot of interviews with/articles about Gaga. She stated from day one that she was going to be famous. Not that she wanted to be or she wished she would be. She said she would be famous. She found and created her fame. We will do the same, whatever our “fame” may be. Maybe we need to start sharing our ultimate dreams with the world. Maybe putting them out there is the only way to actually make it happen. Just maybe.

runnerforever May 25, 2010 at 10:33 pm

Well put! I hope lots of people read this.

Mama Pea May 25, 2010 at 11:06 pm

I’ll never tell….

Allison R. May 25, 2010 at 11:13 pm

Love, love, love your posts. I look forward to them the most every night…no lie :)

Madeline - Greens and Jeans May 25, 2010 at 11:23 pm

It’s like you are gazing into my soul. Seriously. Some things should be kept under wraps (or maybe just revealed in freak out conversations with our mamas)…

BroccoliHut May 25, 2010 at 11:37 pm

I can totally relate to this post–I am generally quite open on my blog too, but I tend to keep my aspirations quiet. If I were being honest with myself, it’s because I don’t want to publicly aspire to something and subsequently fail. Wow, Debbie Downer comment.

Jenn (Jenn's Menu and Lifestyle Blog) May 26, 2010 at 2:00 am

That curry looks delicious! :)

As a fellow blogger, I agree, you have to use discretion for your own sanity. We shouldn’t divulge every nook and cranny about our lives, there is a need for privacy and keeping certain things personal. Not every snack is blog worthy, and not every thought should be broadcast, lol.

Jenn

Nicole @ Geek Turned Athlete May 26, 2010 at 4:12 am

I love that dress too!

You don’t have to tell us anything if you don’t want to! I’m just happy you are the way you are. Whatever your goals are, I know you will succeed with them. You have a wonderful driven personality, and as long as you keep at it, you will be at the place that you want to be soon!

That curry looks freaking amazing! I wonder how many curry dishes I can make before my hubby goes on a hunger strike?

Jessica @ How Sweet It Is May 26, 2010 at 5:20 am

Yep. Can totally understand. I am afraid to tell everyone what I really want, but maybe when we do, it will actually happen?

Lauren May 26, 2010 at 5:57 am

It’s great to express and share on the blog but it’s also so important not to share everything! Even though I kind of use my blog as a sort of diary, I would never dream of putting my every thought or occurrence. For example, my hubby and I got into an argument the other night. It wasn’t necessary for me to share something like that and it wouldn’t have been very respectful to him. I also try to keep my work details off the blog too.
But food….food is never something to hide! :)

Love ya girl.

Erica May 26, 2010 at 5:58 am

Great message.

And fun pictures ;) I love that white dress too. And I want to try the lassi. And the dinner dish. Which looks restaurant quality lady. Enjoy your day

Jamie @ Tearaveler May 26, 2010 at 6:31 am

Food is just food if you only know it to be that. I think food can be art, enjoyable (not enjoyable for that matter), creative, and spark conversation – which is why there are so many foodies out there, just looking for inspiration in their lives from others like them =).

I think we’re opposite when it comes what you said about saying/not saying things out loud. If I say a goal out loud, I feel obligated to do it. My drive is the people around me – I say I’m going to (insert goal here), and hope I have their support. If I don’t (like my dads at the moment for going to Nepal ha), I kind of have a ‘prove them wrong’ attitude… =) So show us your best and your worst, Holly!

Jamie @ Tearaveler May 26, 2010 at 6:32 am

…if that makes sense hah I’m a little jet legged at the moment

Abby May 26, 2010 at 6:50 am

Totally get it. Most of the time I won’t even tell my family if I’m interviewing for a job or trying to accomplish a certain something, just because I don’t want to get their hopes up or curse myself by actually saying it out loud. That may be counterproductive, but it’s easier to just tell them the good news (if and when it happens) than telling them it didn’t work out. That probably makes no sense…

Anyway, I’m nosy and want to know if you got your “dream” job!!! None of my business, but I’m pulling for ya in whatever it is.

brandi May 26, 2010 at 8:03 am

“Have you ever wanted something so badly that you’re afraid to actually say it out loud? You fear vocalizing your desire for it to the universe may actually cause it NOT to happen?” – yes. All the time. I talk myself out of things before even going after them.

mammaeverythingtarian May 26, 2010 at 8:24 am

great blog!!! fear is given to much power-i wish it wasnt

Katie May 26, 2010 at 9:00 am

Haha, that’s the best picture ever (the hungover one)…I think I’m going to reference it when I’m feeling melancholy. For the record, I look like that when I wake up…no hangover necessary.

Also, I totally know what you mean about not uttering dreams for fear that they will disappear of that someone might hold you accountable for something that may NEVER happen, but you can’t bear the thought of that. I get you.

Kacy May 26, 2010 at 9:16 am

Just when I thought you couldn’t get any cooler, I find out you’ve been skydiving… You’re the COOLEST :)

samantha May 26, 2010 at 9:52 am

i think i’m scared to admit – even to myself – what my biggest dreams are! it probably has something to do with failure, or taking the wrong path, whatever. but i recently decided i AM AM following one of my dreams and i’m planning a 6 – 9 month trip all around southeast asia (in a year and a half, but still).

also, you are my new HERO for posting that picture of you hungover. i was in a similar situation this past sunday, oops.

Kristin (Salty Tooth) May 26, 2010 at 11:26 am

I’m always afraid to say thing out loud because I don’t want to jinx it, good or bad. Like I have any control over the universe! :)

Ilana May 26, 2010 at 11:56 am

This post makes perfect sense, dearie.

hbobier @ Basil Vodka May 26, 2010 at 12:01 pm

I love this post. Tell it like it is, girl!

Alex @ IEatAsphalt May 26, 2010 at 3:55 pm

I love your honesty! I’ve definitely been there. I must find some of that lassi! I usually buy kefir but that probably needs to be a new addition to my fridge.

mary ann May 26, 2010 at 7:33 pm

First things first: I adore you. Second I adore you. Did I mention I adore you? “Keepin it real, its what your all about (pop quiz, name that food network star!!!)” For real though, I’ve been at an all time low in my life for say, oh, the past six years. Pathetic I” know. Could/can I work harder at being more positive-most def., but instead I choose to make life more difficult by ripping myself apart and not enjoying life. UNTIL, however, I started reading you and snackface, mama pea and others… Every time I CHOOSE to read y’all, I am embracing a little more positivity into my whoa-is-me life. I do NOT have to be this miserable, I know it-always have. What I’m really trying to say is Thank you, thank you so so so so so much for being the chuckle in my day. I mean, I can safely say that I am able to laugh out loud at least once a day because of you, and that is something truly special-something I lacked for too long. I love how it works out perfectly with this post that I write the most non-sensical comment EVAHHH. Sorry for my blubbering nonsense, but the bottom line is that today I am going to embrace my dreams rather than shun them. This is progress to the max. love you and keep-on keep on dreamin.
MA
lilpauladean.wordpress.com

Danielle (Runs on Green) May 26, 2010 at 7:38 pm

I feel like that sometimes too- food IS just food. And whatever goal/dream you’re keeping off the blog…I say: surface it and go for it!

Kate May 26, 2010 at 8:46 pm

i hear you. actually admitting to something is SCARY as hell sometimes. i think you are fabulous no matter what you share or choose not to share. Take care woman!

Jessica May 26, 2010 at 11:32 pm

Girly GIRL! Can we please catch up?? I’ll let you vent/ramble/EXPLAIN what’s going on… all day long ;)

I’m surriously mesmerized by that pb&j toast. I just want to take a big bite outta it! Yum.

I do love that dress, and I do love your facial expression in that last pic of little miss hungover YOU. HIlarious! And so cute.

Still can’t believe you’ve been skydiving! You’re my idol–dunno if I could ever do it. LOVE YOUUU!

Susan May 27, 2010 at 7:31 am

Holly, I love you. But I am NOT skydiving hungover in Banff with you! :P I’ve been keeping a lot of stuff off my blog lately that has been weighing verrry heavily on me. There are reasons why I’m particularly attached to me family right now. I feel really bad that I’ll be ditching them soon when they need me around :(

However, sometimes I need to be honest on my blog in order to be honest with myself. Putting things out there is a great way to follow through on them. One of the reasons why I love doing monthly goals on my blog!

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