sldfslajdinsdfsd, part two

by Holly on February 7, 2011

in balance,dinner,seriousness

As I’ve told you all before, I have a monkey mind.

It often swings wildly from branch to branch, thought to thought, idea to idea without nary a “Hey-I’m-on-my-way-put-on-the-coffee!” courtesy call before it arrives.

Rude, I know.

Sometimes however, even my monkey mind gets stuck. And last Wednesday, it found itself firmly wedged in the branches of the mighty tree of overwhelmedness.

This is perhaps the worst tree for my monkey mind to get stuck in. It freezes, unable to move or do anything remotely productive other than think. Rethink. Over think. Think through.

I ruminate.

I ponder.

I go certifiably crazy.

Having too much time on my hands to think is my kryptonite. My Mr. Big. My achilles heel. My Regina George.

I think of all the things I have on my plate: Full-time job. Blog. Freelance work. Half-marathon training. Family + friend commitments. Maintaining an apartment free of disease, dirt + dust. A handful of other things I don’t mention on the blog.

And I don’t even have a slobbery ol’ boyfriend to worry about!

Or kids! It’s probably a good thing on both accounts, because I’d definitely be a bad girlfriend and/or neglectful parent, the latter of which social services would have the right to come after me for. At least I look really good in stripes.

Then, I think all of the additional things I would do if I had more time: Pitch for more freelance work. Respond to e-mails faster (including sending an e-mail to Rachael to thank her for the homemade bread above). Read more of your lovely blogs. Volunteer. Watch oodles of Friday Night Lights and Half-Nelson, which I’ve had on loan from Netflix for more than 2 1/2 months now. Put on make-up for the courtesy of my co-workers, who have to see me for 8+ hours a day. Cook more. Bake more. Most likely eat more.

I’m left lacking the time to do more but without the luxury to afford doing less.

And it’s tough.

However, with the constant support from the amazingly patient Mama E, I’m learning one important thing: more is not always better.

Unless it’s eating Coconut Bliss Chocolate Peanut Butter ice cream, obvs.

Better is continuing the ever-changing search for balance.

Sometimes, even for us Everythingtarians, that can get out of whack. As a perfectionist, it’s really hard for me to accept that I can’t do more, read more, write more and accomplish more in order to achieve the things I want to achieve. But I need to remember that perpetually doing more can actually be detrimental to my health (i.e. stress -> elevated blood pressure -> more stress -> coronary heart disease), as well as my quality of life. Let’s not even begin to talk about what that does to my one’s sanity (see “pulling a Britney”).

Turns out, I just need to cut myself some slack.

Stop.

Smell some roses.

Veg on the couch for no reason.

Don’t beat myself up for things I didn’t do.

Breathe.

All novel concepts, I know.

And I’m starting it all now.

As of 8:00pm, I’m logging off GChat, Twitter and my computer and going to go waste unneeded brain cells by watching The Bachelor without a smidge of guilt.

I am me, and that IS enough.

Now, that’s a tree I’d be happy to get stuck in the rest of my life.

{ 41 comments }

Matt @ The Athlete's Plate February 7, 2011 at 8:12 pm

I LOVE coconut bliss! You are a woman after my heart ;)

grace b February 7, 2011 at 8:16 pm

Oh girl I totally hear you on that. I agree, our Moms always know best and give excellent advice.

As for Half Nelson, it is an AMAZING movie but also very heavy.

You’re definitely gonna have to pep yourself up after you watch it.

Oh and FNL….show ends Wednesday….*tear*

carin February 7, 2011 at 8:17 pm

my mom used to always say “you’re a human being, not a human doing.” sometimes i still think that in my head when i need a night off. enjoy it!

Danielle February 7, 2011 at 8:17 pm

I adore you. And on that note, may I just comment that being as wonderful as you are, you are probably more than enough. Take a seat on that branch and just think about it. You’re pretty incredible for a mere mortal and that’s true every second of every day. :)

chelsey @ clean eating chelsey February 7, 2011 at 8:21 pm

I think that in the last few years of my life, I’ve been stressing less and doing less. It feels good.

Amber February 7, 2011 at 8:24 pm

I <3 coconut bliss! Oh man, now I want some! :)

Amanda (Eating Up) February 7, 2011 at 8:31 pm

Coconut Bliss is the bomb. And so are you! I love this post.

Katie February 7, 2011 at 8:36 pm

Good for you!! It’s so nice to have an outside person to shed light on my insane need for perfection. Meeker is the most laid back person on this earth, and he FORCES me to sit down and do NOTHING sometimes. It’s painful at first (my mind swirling with all the thing I could get done), but it’s so absolutely necessary for my sanity.

Hope you’re enjoying the bachelor and loving your couch time. You totally deserve it!

Amy B @ Second City Randomness February 7, 2011 at 8:48 pm

Ooohhh… that bread did look delish- glad it seems to have delivered on the yum factor.

Enjoy your night “off”. Seriously, you deserve it. And good luck with saying “no” every once in a while. I know you can do it!

dana @ my little celebration February 7, 2011 at 9:19 pm

Ooh, can I be stuck in your tree with you?

Katie February 7, 2011 at 10:52 pm

I hope to start saying no soon. After I say yes to a few things that is. :)

Averie (LoveVeggiesAndYoga) February 7, 2011 at 10:53 pm

stopping and smelling the roses and not having to be busy or productive every single second…that is a beautiful thing.

and something i need to work on every.single.day b/c i push myself hard, too.

I love it that you’re cutting yourself some slack! :)

Kaleigh February 7, 2011 at 11:07 pm

As I’m decompressing from my day and reading your blog, I have also hit a wall. I want to write something wonderful but all I can come up with is enjoy :)

Mama Pea February 7, 2011 at 11:08 pm

Way to unplug. I’m proud of you. Damn straight that IS enough.

K - Anywhere There's An Airport February 8, 2011 at 3:30 am

I love this post. YOU are enough. You DON’T have to do it all.

It took me moving to a new country and feeling completely overwhelmed by EVERYTHING to just… BE. Because I really have no other choice.

But most of the time, I am swinging from the branches with you!

J3nn (Jenn's Menu and Lifestyle Blog) February 8, 2011 at 5:32 am

Hmm… you know you’re a savory foods person when the egg yolk is calling out to me more than the Coconut Bliss, which I like a lot! :)

Cassie @ A Very Busy Mind February 8, 2011 at 5:37 am

HOLLY. Can I tell you how much I seriously feel you on this? I feel compelled* to refer you to this post: http://averybusymind.com/2011/01/30/ill-have-brains-with-a-side-of-brains-please/

Relevant-to-you quote:

“At this point, I feel obligated to acknowledge the fact that no, I don’t have kids, and that yes, I am a single, 24 year old girl with only myself to take care of.

This is on purpose. I don’t want kids (yet); I’m not ready for them.

I have no idea how moms do it (hats off to them, for sure!), but I always have a problem with the who-has-it-harder thing.

The fact that I don’t have a family to take care of does not make me feel my feelings less strongly.

Ya know?”

*I am not one to blogpimp; I just wanted to reiterate I GET IT. :)

Lauren February 8, 2011 at 6:05 am

Well, honestly, I think you are some kind of superwoman so I have to disagree when you say you have monkey brain. But I do understand the need to feel like you have to do it all. I always feel this way and then I realize, for what? Why am I doing it all? If I always try to do everything, nothing will ever really get done.

Gabriela @ Une Vie Saine February 8, 2011 at 6:59 am

Definitely needed to hear this. I have a tendency to overwork myself and overcommit myself, which only leads to me becoming a hermit for a few days. I need to find that balance. You know those people who say, “I’ll sleep when I’m dead?” I’ve never, ever understood why you wouldn’t want to sleep NOW!

Abby February 8, 2011 at 7:02 am

I wrote a post about this just last week–breathe. We’re only as busy as we let ourselves be. Yes, we all have responsibilities–a lot of them–but we also have a responsibility to treat ourselves with compassion and cut ourselves some slack. It’s not slacking or selfish, it’s self-care ;)

Kacy February 8, 2011 at 8:14 am

Oh, honey child I so feel where you’re coming from! I am here with a big hug and many happy thoughts! Feel free to say no, do things for you and live this wonderful life we’re blessed with. I am such a ruminator, but every day I’ve been working to focus on the present and it’s somewhat actually been working.

Love ya!

brandi February 8, 2011 at 8:21 am

I’ll tell you what – moving into our new house has caused changes that I didn’t expect, and I am LOVING it.

I’m not on the computer all night anymore.
We don’t have the tv on all the time, just because. It’s in a different part of the house, so we only watch when we actually WANT to.
I’m reading more. Cooking more. Having more quiet time, and it’s been incredible.

I hope you enjoyed your night, girly :) Everyone needs a break sometimes.

Kailey (SnackFace) February 8, 2011 at 8:40 am

Wait wait wait. Where can I get an everythingtarian sticker?!!! I neeeeed.

I want to do one million things each day. Only my Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and sometimes Fridays are absolutely jam-packed. Every minute is taken, leaving only 6 hours to sleep. I don’t really mind, but I can’t help but think that this isn’t the way to live. But what do I know?

Well, I DO know that I miss you terribly! xoxoxo

Jenna February 8, 2011 at 8:49 am

You deserve mad props for balancing everything the way that you do, and still maintaining a postive outlook on life. That in itself is quite the accomplishment. Someday you’ll look back on this time in your life and smile! I’m going through a pretty crazy time myself right now, and while it is SO stressful at times, it is kind of fun! Hang in there chica. :)

Eliz@The Sweet Life February 8, 2011 at 8:50 am

That bread looks amazing! Especially topped with coconut bliss…. :-)

amanda February 8, 2011 at 8:56 am

“In other words, having too much time on my hands to think is my kryptonite. My Mr. Big. My achilles heel. My Regina George.”

amen, amen, amen!

you speak such v

amanda February 8, 2011 at 8:56 am

blah, that didn’t let me finish my thought…

as i was saying…

you speak such volumes, Mizzzzz E!

Emily February 8, 2011 at 10:22 am

oh, I love you. You are enough. And while we’re at it, MORE of that egg sandwich seems like a good idea, yes? Looks delicious. xoxo

Megan (Braise the Roof) February 8, 2011 at 10:23 am

You DO look good in stripes. That is an accomplishment unto itself. And ps, I totally feel ya with the writer’s block. Holler to the Coconut Bliss- and hopefully you still have some of Amy’s baked goods to use as…fuel… ;)

Kate (What Kate is Cooking) February 8, 2011 at 10:35 am

You are an awesome writer! I think it’s great that you’re unplugging and taking more time for yourself. We should all take a page out of your book :)

Sami February 8, 2011 at 12:12 pm

mmm. i’ve only ever had a chocolate version of coconut bliss and it was to die for. i need to find me sommmeemoreeee<3

Rachael February 8, 2011 at 12:55 pm

Some of the best advice I ever got (to combat perfectionism and the need to cook dinner/heal everyone/discover nuclear fission/save the world) came out of an argument between two therapists when I was in recovery: one thought I needed to hold myself more accountable, the other insisted I needed to ease off the personal accelerator. Cutting oneself a little slack, is ironically, one of the hardest things in the world to do….
I hear you on brain jumbles – between work and baby mind, I’m barely speaking in coherent sentences unless I’m reciting a press release :)
Glad you enjoyed the bread – relax when you eat it for me :)

Heather @ Get Healthy with Heather February 8, 2011 at 2:08 pm

Two counts for vegging on the couch! I usually reserve those days for Sundays when I have nothing too necessary to do. I’ve been loving each and every minute of those times.

Jen February 8, 2011 at 2:20 pm

Your little egg concoction looks AMAZING!!!!!

What did you think of The Bachelor last night?!

Sarah February 8, 2011 at 2:33 pm

Much of this post resonnated with me. I’m glad you took time to do “nothing” and refused to feel guilty about it. I think that’s important for sanity (which still evades me some days).

wendy @ ABCs and Garden Peas February 8, 2011 at 2:35 pm

Man, we have a lot in common. My feeling that I need to do “more” has been out of control lately. Full-time job, 3 hours a day for commute, blog, freelance, toddler at home, house to take care of, trying to get prego again, getting the house ready to sell and buy a new one, and getting ready to enroll in school. I often wonder when my head is going to pop off.

How weird that in the midst of it all, after not reading your blog for a while, I happened to drop by today, to read THIS post. Hm. I need to listen to you and realize that I AM enough, regardless of what the sum of my actions/accomplishments happens to be on a given day. Thanks! :)

jeri February 8, 2011 at 3:04 pm

I have let this one–>Maintaining an apartment free of disease, dirt + dust.
fall by the wayside. As long as the boyf doesn’t get lost under a clothes mountain, I’m ok with living in a pigsty. :)

(what runs) Lori February 8, 2011 at 6:35 pm

I feel ya. Definitely. Down to full-time jobs that take up too much (fun) time. :)
I’d totally rock more PB Coconut Bliss (love that stuff!)

Ally (oatsandspice) February 8, 2011 at 6:39 pm

Wow that frozen “ice cream” looks so good – I am def. going to have to look for that next time I am at the store! And your bread… YUMMM!

http://oatsandspice.wordpress.com

courtney February 8, 2011 at 8:39 pm

holly! i feel that way sometimesl! i think it is lucky that you have so many interests and have found a way to be passionate about your life and the world around you. Keep sharing your gifts and do what you love and i think a life full of joy is found! and balance is always helpful :)

kathleen February 9, 2011 at 1:11 am

Maybe it’s just he quirk of the female mind. The ability to juggle 1800 thoughts at a time. I don’t think men can multi-task like we can. How does one get freelance jobs? I’ve never tot about something like that until I find myself at home.

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