On this bright and sunny Tuesday, my shoulders ache. Bad.
My abs refuse to contract and suck in.
My flat pancake of a butt is screeching at me in searing DOMS pain.
Welcome to the Monkey Bar 30-Day Challenge, me thinks? Honestly, I am not sure what I was thinking when I signed up for this. I think it was something along the lines of, “Well, if I have 8 weddings to attend this year where a plethora of photos will most likely be taken, I might as well be in kick a$$ shape.” I am only on day three and already doubting my naive, optimistic logic.
Regardless, here’s what I have officially gotten myself into…
- The Day of Transformation (a.k.a. this past Sunday morning): Body fat calculation, before pictures and fitness testing. Yes, I haven’t even done an actual workout, and I am sore.
- 3-Day Juice Fast: This Friday through Sunday, I will be a crabby, hungry blogger dreaming of faraway lands of cheeseburgers, yogurt and baked goods. I am warning you now.
- Two-Week Cleanse: Starting May 9th and continuing through May 22nd, I will essentially be eating vegan. However, because I am an Everythingtarian and don’t like being told what to do, I am going to go by the Mark Bittman rule: two meals a day vegan, one meal my choice.
- Sunday Challenger Workouts: Every Sunday, we have a team workout from 9 to 10:30am at the gym. I have a feeling this isn’t the only day where I won’t be able to walk.
- Other Workouts: Not including the challenger workout, it is recommended that we attend 7 classes per week – 3 Body Power (a combination of plyometrics, strength + body weight training), 2 Boot Camp and 2 yoga classes. I am aiming for 5 classes per week. Just sayin’.
On Sunday, May 29th, after a month of grueling, health-focused fervor, I will let you know my hopefully marked fitness improvement as well as post my before + after photos.
Warning: I may just be the next Irina Shaykh.
If you want a personal picture turned into a canvas, go here.
It’s high-quality work.
It’s decorative fun.
It’s seriously adorable.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have an ice bath, Ibuprofen and stretching to do.