The Curly Hair Curse

by Holly on May 24, 2012

in baking,dessert,rambling,recipes,silliness,vegetarian

I’ve always been a little…different.

I blame the curly hair. There is something about being blessed (errr…cursed?) with natural, tightly-woven tendrils that automatically makes you a little kinky. A little crazy. And a little different. Being called “Cloudhead” by your peers surely doesn’t help the frizz situation, although I blame Mama Everythingtarian for thinking curly bangs was a good idea. Curly bangs on a girl who didn’t use hair product until 7th grade, much less. She should have known better.

I didn’t talk until I was almost four years old. When I wanted something, per se a popsicle, I would grunt. A mini Rick Ross in training, you might say.

I was a voracious reader. I’ve read all 131 Babysitter’s Club (BSC) books…not including the super specials or mysteries. I obviously wanted to be Stacey McGill or Mary Anne Spier (just so I could date Logan), but now looking back, I realize I did always have a soft spot for nerdy, red curly-haired Mallory. Have you seen this article? Read it. Now.

I get weird ailments like blocked ureter tubes, infected sebacious cysts and crazy staph infections. Seriously, why can’t I ever just catch a regular cold? This confounds me to this day.

My life, like my hair, is often unmanageable.

I don’t mean to sound self-indulgent or trite, but my path in life seems a bit more wind-y than most. It’s not straight or narrow…it’s long, curvy and dotted with many port-a-potties and rest stops. Hey, you still gotta pee when taking the long way! It takes me longer to figure things out and get things straight and be okay with all of that before I arrive at any given destination.

It is my path, and I am getting there. Every.single.day.

And while I’ll never admit this to my mother, I kind of like all the twists and turns. How many people can say they’ve dated a gay tap dancer? I CAN!

All of this…this is why I love rhubarb.

Rhubarb is curly hair!

Rhubarb is a little bit pink, a little bit red and a little bit green. It’s weird. It’s tart. It’s bitter. It looks like celery…only it’s not. It pops up for a short time every spring to remind us of it’s unmatched uniqueness – long stalks with a clear, crisp bite that screams summer is on the way. A vegetable AND a fruit that only requires a hefty does of sugar to result in something tangy and sweet.

It may not read BSC books or boast curly bangs, but rhubarb is kooky different.

Rhubarb, welcome to the curly girls club.

Rhubarb Strawberry Crisp
adapted from The Ultimate Apple Crisp

5 to 6 stalks rhubarb, diced
1 (10-oz) carton strawberries, quartered
3/4 cup sugar
3 T flour
zest of one lemon
juice of one lemon
1 cup unsalted butter, chilled
2 cups brown sugar
2 cups oatmeal
1 1/2 cups flour
1/2 t baking soda
1/2 t baking powder
1/2 t salt
vanilla Greek yogurt or ice cream, optional

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

In a medium bowl, mix rhubarb, strawberries, sugar, 3 T flour, zest and lemon juice. Set aside.

In a another bowl, mix butter, brown sugar, oatmeal, 1 1/2 cups flour, soda, powder and salt with your fingers. Cut butter into the dry ingredients with your fingers until mixture is crumbly.

In a greased 9×13-inch pan, pour rhubarb mixture into an even layer. Top with crumble topping. Bake for 30 to 45 minutes or until crumble topping is golden brown. To serve, top with Greek yogurt or ice cream.

Makes 12 to 16 slices

{ 28 comments }

Abby @ Change of Pace May 24, 2012 at 8:56 pm

I LOVE the comparisons! Great post. And the crisp looks delicious, too! I think I still have some rhubarb in my freezer from last year. I might have to give this a whirl before rhubarb season.

Janel May 24, 2012 at 9:05 pm

omg I love love LOVE this post! Never have I thought to compare a piece of produce to the curly haired kinks of life, although I have said that if I were a veggie, I’d be curly hair. Anyway…I can relate 100%! To the curls and kinks of hair and life. What a fantastic blog post and recipe.

Dana @ My Little Celebration May 24, 2012 at 9:17 pm

ugh ugh ugh. LOVE!

Chelsea @ Designs on Dinner May 24, 2012 at 9:46 pm

I love the recipe, but I particularly adore the Baby Sitter’s Club reference and link. And I thought I was the only one left who remembered the old gang. Hilarious.

Sara May 24, 2012 at 10:06 pm

The recipe looks delish! I’m from the Midwest, but when I lived in Tennessee no one, not a soul, knew the delight that is rhubarb pie/crisp/cobbler. They didn’t even know rhubarb! Poor people.
As for BSC: Team Dawn all the way. She was too cool for school. ;)

Sarah (I Dream of Beets) May 24, 2012 at 10:19 pm

Wow. I totally love this post.

formerly crunchy granola gal May 25, 2012 at 12:12 am

love you. and this.

Kathryn May 25, 2012 at 3:50 am

Rhubarb and BSC are a match made in heaven. I always wanted to be Stacey because I thought she was pretty much the coolest person in the world ever.

PS there’s a great blog which is, sadly, not updated very often any more called http://www.whatclaudiawore.com that is hilarious if you’re a BSC fan.

Hillary May 25, 2012 at 7:04 am

We have so much in common, it’s actually borderline bizarre. Curly hair with bangs (although I didn’t use product until ninth grade. Yes, really), all of the BSC books (still packed in a box that I REFUSE to get rid of), and a dating history that includes a fabulous gay man (an artist, not a tap dancer, however). Sisters from another mister, for sure!

Lisa @ Jogging on Coffee May 25, 2012 at 7:54 am

I loved the BSC too, I totally wanted to be either Stacey or Dawn. Did you ever see the videos they made? They were so much better than the movie :P

Charlotte May 25, 2012 at 9:19 am

I love my curly, quirky friend! You are a one of a kind. Great post!

Daddio May 25, 2012 at 10:26 am

Blame your Grandma for the curly hair! By the way she loved Rhubarb also. She always took some out of the neighbors garden when it was ripe!!! Luv ya!

Stacie May 25, 2012 at 6:14 pm

I used to pay big money for my big 80’s hair! Haven’t quite tried rhubarb yet but you have me intrigued ;)

Heather @ Fit Mama Real Food May 26, 2012 at 9:37 am

I LLOOOVVEEE strawberry and rhubarb together! I need to go steal some rhubarb from my moms house. It’s exploding over there. And your curly hair rocks, I couldn’t (and wouldn’t!) want to picture you without it Holly.

carrie (actsofrebellion) May 26, 2012 at 12:25 pm

love your curly curls. love rhubarb! rock on home girl!! :)

Eloise May 26, 2012 at 1:26 pm

I’d much rather know and be around curly haired rhubarb than bland mundane masses trying to all be the same.
Individuality and quirks are what makes life colourful and worth living.
Love the look of this recipe, am definately saving this one!
Thanks for the recipe, and for the smiles

TeriLyn [a foodie stays fit] May 26, 2012 at 2:06 pm

BABYSITTERS CLUB!!!! further proof that we are soul mates. I always love Dawn. Which is funny since she was a vegetarian and now I (basically) am.

Nicole May 26, 2012 at 6:29 pm

Adorable!

Vijitha May 28, 2012 at 12:36 am

I am seeing a lot of rhubarb recipes today and I am totally tempted to make a dessert with it soon. Your crisp looks so yummy and addictive!

mammaeverythingtarian May 28, 2012 at 8:51 am

L O V E this P O S T….own it and embrace it :)

Katie May 28, 2012 at 10:47 am

I love you and your hair and this little rhubarb crisp. Now get yourself, your hair, and the dessert out to Colorado so I can hug all three of you. <3

Lauren @ Oatmeal after Spinning May 29, 2012 at 10:58 am

Ohhhh this post is awesome!! For the record, I wanted to be Stacy- minus the diabetes. I always thought her and Claudia were WAY cool. I read every single BSC book growing up- probably at least 2 times. That and Sweet Valley High… oh man. I would stay up all night just to finish a book.
I love your curly hair! Mine is naturally curly- or FRIZZY. It’s not cute. It’s a pain in the butt.
I also love rhubarb, and you just reminded me that I’m supposed to pick some up after work from my parents’ gigantic collection growing in their garden.

Mackenzie May 29, 2012 at 12:22 pm

WHY ARE WE THE SAME PERSON! my first boyfriend was a harvard ph.d student who dumped me BECAUSE HE WAS ALLERGIC TO ME (he actually was! rashes and everything!)

why the hell haven’t we gotten coffee already and talked about our lives. like really.

amanda May 29, 2012 at 5:33 pm

i LOVE this post. perhaps i’m bias because i’m also BLESSED with curly hair. i wouldn’t be me without it. i know you totally know what i’m saying, girl! {fist pump!}

and delicious recipe. like really, really delish!

Bronwyn May 30, 2012 at 11:45 pm

OMG I have crazy curly hair. And I love rhubarb. It all makes sense now. Rhubarb pie is by far my favourite, and probably the only pie I really like. ;)

Lauren @ The Climbing Chef June 1, 2012 at 11:40 am

I love this post very much! My sister has curly hair like yours and this has made me think of her… I also passed this post on to her (shhhh, she isn’t a foodie). I have wavy hair so I think that is why I am only slightly kooky :)

Erin June 1, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Did you read Sweet Valley High and the Boxcar Children too?

Madeline - Greens and Jeans June 3, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Love this post (and you!) bunches.

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