This weekend, as I meticulously organized my planner + Gmail calendar so they were perfectly in synch, I realized I have seven weddings to attend this year.
Not even a minute later, one of my best friends called to tell me she got engaged.
I let out an excited “Eep!”
Congratulated her + her new fiancee.
And the reality of my own dire relationship status, or lack thereof, was made obviously apparent to me once again.
I wanted a drink, preferably with alcohol.
But not before I wondered when I got so Type A about my calendars.
So I went out with two friends, ate andouille sausage pretzel dogs, drank too much beer and woke up to a dull headache and a mighty fine jar of oatmeal.
1 almost empty almond butter jar
1/2 cup oatmeal + 2 T brown rice protein powder
1 1/4 cup water
1 T brown sugar
1 T maple syrup
1 mashed banana
2 T dried pineapple chunks
Then, I listened to this song 21 times in a row.
Played around on Photoshop, which my friend Thomas so lovingly bestowed a copy of on me.
Spent $6.49 on a cherry red lip stain pen that makes me feel très Parisian chic.
And took 29 pictures of blood oranges.
I cleaned my apartment, which required a sinkful of four day old dishes and a bicep workout scrubbing them, and headed back out on the town Saturday night, red lips in tow.
I ended the night with a drink called “The Regret.”
Death’s Door Vodka. Rosemary-infused simple syrup. Lime juice.
Luckily, the only regret I woke up with didn’t involve a man, but rather the realization I should have been drinking this most delicious cocktail all night long instead of crappy Bud Light.
Then, I fed myself PB+B toast, coffee, water and eventually lunch.
In the process, I proceeded to eat this entire bag of SunChips.
I recommend you go buy them.
Then, my dad called me to tell me he can’t find my W-2 forms I gave him, which puts into jeopardy my much-needed tax refund due in 15 days.
So I made Banana Bran Muffins.
Ran to the gym, took a 75-minute yoga class and ran home.
Now, I’m blogging.
And still pretending my dad didn’t tell me that.
When I get done, I will most likely eat another muffin (my third) slathered in peanut butter, shower, rewatch Jake Gyllenhaal’s appearance on The Daily Show for the 7th time and call it a weekend.
Fill in the blank: This weekend, I __________.
Don’t forget to enter my Tropical Traditions Coconut Peanut Butter giveaway! You have until Monday night to enter before I announce a winner.